Instincts

They say that a person can tell how the conversation is going just instinctively.  And that said person can feel whether or not the other person involved is interested.  This is the way it’s supposed to work, none of this endless wondering and analyzing, just a feeling of yes or no.

After Lab yesterday, Anna and I were standing in the Storch Lobby waiting for Mark to come pick us up (it was pouring rain, so we didn’t want to walk).  And who should come over to talk to us, but Robbie 🙂  He was saying how much he didn’t want to do Dance Lab next week, and we started talking about ballet, and then I asked him if he had seen or read Black Comedy, because I thought he’d enjoy it…he got a nice moment of me being really genuine there, because he said “It’s a farce, right?” and I said “yes” and Anna said, “With doors?”  And I got really excited and said “No!  It is a farce without doors!!!” because she and I have had this running joke about a farce without doors all semester.  And Robbie, not being in on this joke, was confused and slightly shocked at my exuberence — after all, he was the one who identified me as “unprepossessing.”  Anyway.  We talked a bit about this show, and it was a three-way conversation but it was him and me talking, Anna was quite peripheral.  I remember one moment when they were both talking at once and I didn’t even realize that Anna was speaking until after Robbie had finished and she went on a couple of words longer — it was a minorly embarassing corny movie moment.  Paul, meanwhile, was sitting on the couch on the other side of the room, so I know he actually wanted to talk to us, he wasn’t just passing the time, because he could have passed it much less awkwardly with Paul.  But it wasn’t awkward, it was fine.  Erin says that with him you just need to break the ice, and then it all picks up from there.

If I just trust my instincts…not an easy thing for me to do…things are going well.

I’ll see if I can talk to him tomorrow in ballet.  This was Normal Conversation #2 yesterday.  I want to get to the point with him where it wouldn’t be weird for me to see him sitting in the Sutton and go sit with him.  That is my goal.  My immediate goal.  I would like to be close enough to him to be able to eat with him before the year is out, which means getting there very quickly.  But maybe the ice is broken now.  That’s a nice idea.  We’ll see tomorrow, I guess.

Maybe that’s as much my decision as it is his.

On another note, it’s been a rough day — my show doesn’t have a run-crew.  We have three people now, because we’ve made desperate pleas, and Chrissy, Lisa, and Oliver heard us and didn’t turn us down.  But we still need three more for it all to work out well.  I don’t want to go into that in detail right now because I spent a lot of time today very angry and I’m not angry anymore.  So enough of that.

I found out yesterday that Matt S—–, a very high-status senior for whom I have never had much respect, is actually an interesting and intelligent person!  He’s sort of a sex icon in the department but I don’t personally find him attractive really; he’s always cast but I don’t think he’s that good, or at least I didn’t before Freedom, he’s really good in our show; in short, everyone thinks he’s brilliant and amazing but me.  But it turns out that he’s actually an Interesting Person.  Who would ever have thought it!  Graduating in three weeks, but still, a nice thing to discover.

Well, it’s half past midnight and I have a long day tomorrow…we start tech tomorrow night.  So I’m going to bed.

–Stephanie