Duly impressed

Audra McDonald sang in our student centre tonight.  The room was not filled to overflowing, which just goes to show the sad state of the world, that no one knows who she is or if they did they wouldn’t care.  It was mostly theatre students there.  Danny and I sat in the front row.  ‘Twas excellent.  Truly excellent.  Wow.  That’s all I have to say.

She’s holding a sort of mini-masterclass for us down at the theatre tomorrow morning at 8:30, and my sightsinging class has been excused from sightsinging to go see her, for which I am grateful.  I think even Anna is going to go…Anna barely goes to any theatre-related things, I’m not sure if that’s because she doesn’t really like musical theatre that much (just doing it, not seeing it), or if it’s because Mark doesn’t like it that much and she’d rather be with him.  But the impression I sort of get is that she just doesn’t really care, and isn’t really thinking much beyond getting her work done and watching TV with Mark.  I really miss her.  When we do talk, it’s great, the way it always has been.  But we don’t talk very often.  Ah well, next semester we’ll be in an apartment and they’ll be spending time in common areas and not just her room, so we’ll see more of each other.  I hope.

The semester after that we’ll be in London and he won’t be.  So I’ll see a lot of her then, at least.

I think I need to hang out some with Chrissy, because right now I kinda hate her a little and it makes it so much worse knowing that I also love her a lot.  It’s not her fault or my fault or Robbie’s fault or anyone’s fault that she’s the one he wanted for this blasted role, which has caused so much trouble and still hasn’t been cast yet, but I’m still feeling the jealousy and disappointment and I think that only reminding myself how much I really do like this girl will help.  On the other hand, tonight I’m more thinking, how come Chrissy gets everything?  This is prompted by the fact that she was selected to be Audra McDonald’s dresser for the show tonight.  She gets the phonominal voice, she gets the wonderful boyfriend, she gets the group of friends I haven’t had since middle school, and the great body, and the wisdom and the energy and the warmth.  Of her class, when she is a senior, she will be the one everyone will love and miss.  When I think about it that way, I’m glad for her, not jealous.  It’s ridiculous to be jealous of Chrissy…we’re not really close enough for me to have earned jealousy of her.  It’s one thing for me to be jealous of Anna, but something completely different when it’s Chrissy.

On a more positive note, things have returned to normal with Robbie after a brief period of awkwardness.  I have been very careful to ask him no questions and make absolutely no comments about his show, to keep what happens on the casting board completely separate from what happens between us as people.  It took a few days, but I think he got the message, and he’s gone back to shooting me one-liners at the barre.  He even demonstrated his tap steps in “Brush Up Your Shakespeare” for me.  He’s amazing.  He’s a terrible dancer, but he, as a person, is amazing.

I know I say that about people all the time, but see, this time it’s an objective position.  Everyone agrees with me.  That’s the difference.  That is also what proves I’m right.

It is probably also what makes him unattainable.  But there’s nothing new about that.

–Stephanie