Back online

So we finally have internet in our apartment.  I’ve updated my diary with all the entries I’d written since leaving home, about five or so…it’s quite late and I’m really tired, so I won’t stay and write now for long, but today was a pretty good day so I think I’ll take a moment to put it down before I forget it.

First off, Dan K, who is playing Wilbur opposite my Charlotte, and I are working really well together and bonding as people.  We were sort of already bonded, I mean we were close during CORE, but that was two years ago now.  I asked him today if he would consider evaluating with me at the end of the semester, and he said that he’d really love to but he already had a scene partner, but would I like to sing a duet with him for our songs?  I had never really considered taking in a duet.  It’s an option, but no one ever does it.  But I heard him suggest it, and it just felt so right…something just clicked, I went yes, this is the right choice for us…we’ll have just come off Web, we work so well together, why not?  So we’re looking for duets now.

As to my scene, well, Dan S, who is my scene partner in Craig’s class, and I had a realllllly fantastic scene rehearsal today.  We’re presenting my eval scene from last year for the final time tomorrow, and then I’m done with it, no more Heidi Chronicles.  But we had just the greatest rehearsal, and I’d been thinking about asking him if he wanted to evaluate with me, and I just put it out there as a suggestion and he said that he’d been thinking about it too and it was definitely something to consider.  So yay 🙂

This is the part in the entry where I would usually write about a boy.  Or maybe even more than one.  But the funny thing is, they’re really not on my mind much right now.  Craig told us once, last year, that our work will be the best lover we’ll ever have.  I understand that now.  For the first time in years, I feel like not only do I not need a boyfriend, but I don’t even particularly want one.  I guess if something came my way I’d take it, but it’s not at all where I’m focused.  I’m so involved in the show and in my classes, where would I find the emotional energy for a real crush?  Attraction never dies, I guess, but I’m not wasting time right now thinking about Robbie, or anyone else for that matter.  It’s weird.  I’m not often crushless.  Hmm.  I don’t mind it really.  Not really at all.

I do find myself considering Dan K.  But that’s the old familiar scene partner syndrome.  We’re working so closely together on Web, it’s just natural.  As soon as the show closes, I fully expect that to die.  I would love to go on being close to him, though.

My low blood pressure has actually become a real problem, in other news.  Not a threat to my health or safety, but it gets in the way of my work.  Add feeling, breath, and (the trigger) motion, and I either feel like I’m going to fall or faint.  I’ve had to stop scene rehearsals.  This is not a good thing.  On Saturday, Dan K and I were playing with proxemics, me hiding when his character can’t see me, and chasing him when I’m scaring him, and so forth.  And after I’d chased him all over their lawn for a while, we got to my line, "I’ll gladly be your friend, if you’ll have me," and he stopped and grinned and came towards me and took both my hands, and as soon as I stopped running I just went down.  I probably should have expected it, I just wasn’t thinking about it.  I’d warned Brendan that I was having problems, so that was OK, and I was fully conscious and in no danger, I just fell and lost my place in the script.  It was actually kind of funny, because I had told Brendan but only Brendan, Dan had no warning, and his reaction was very endearing.  That was the most dramatic example, but things like this have been happening far too often.  Lizzie said that she could help me with it, so I’m meeting with her tomorrow after scene study and before tap to see if I can learn some tricks to stop these problems and save my career from the jeopardy gradually creeping up on it.  It’s funny, some days I’m absolutely fine,and others, just the slightest bend forward has me dizzy when I straighten up.  I can get through my dance classes without too many problems, but scene work gives me trouble left and right.  I don’t have time to have health problems right now.  And it’s one thing to have a mystery ailment that annoys me and scares me a little, as I have the past two years, but rarely actually affects my life, and it’s something completely different to have to stop and sit down during scenes.  I’ll have to address this.  Before Web opens.  If I’m having trouble with some of the scene changes in Web, where I barely move expect to jump out of my chair or back into it between scenes, imagine what Tenor will be like…a farce, complete with running around corners and slamming doors…yup, this is something I’m going to have to fix.

Anyway, it’s quite late and I’d do best to get to bed…another long day tomorrow.  Hopefully a good one, though.  Oh, and I finished the blanket I’ve made for the show this afternoon 🙂  I’m very proud of it.  It’s a knitted gray baby blanket, very ordinary, except that I crocheted chains in white of the right lengths to make the word "HOPE" and sewed them into the middle of the blanket.  It took ages and was painstaking.  There are a lot of bits in HOPE, 10 to be exact.  But it’s finished now.  I can’t wait to show it to Brendan tomorrow.

Have I mentioned lately how deeply I adore Brendan?  It’s a recent realization, just how much he really means to me.  I should devote a whole entry to him someday.  Anyway, I’m off to bed.

–Stephanie