That girl I use to be

Quote of the day:

"When we are conscious of our personal uniqueness and our universal nature we express ourselves creatively. In this way we fulfill our dreams and our life purpose." 

~Andrew Schneider

My mom found out last week that she will have to move out of her apartment and into another. She’s only been in this one for 28 years! Whew! Can you imagine how much throwing out we have to do? It’s craziness. So, I started throwing out papers and such in my room, and ran across some old papers from college, and a poetry notebook that i use to keep. Some of the poems were mine, others were from real poets, but all of them took me back. I miss that place. I’m dying to go back there. That place where I got lost in words and imagination. I read some of the papers I wrote and man! I was so inlove with literature. I still am, but I can’t study it the way I would like. I would love to sit in a classroom and pick a book apart word by word, sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph, page by page. And  the poetry! My God, it was moving! Have you ever moved yourself? It’s an exhilirating thing. I can’t remember being that smart or fluid with words, but there it was, in black and white. I ran across one of my favorite poems, one inwhich I woke about the night I shared with a lover, watching him drive off the next morning, and then picking up my quill and writing a love letter – not to him. Love it! I miss words, real literature. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the books I’ve been reading lately, but I miss the books whose lines have a million meanings, and you can pick whichever you choose, devouring it, meditating on it, chewing it apart, spittin git back out and choosing another. In my current state my imagination keeps being intruded upon by real…stuff…that leaves no room for daydreaming on paper. I think it’s the thing I’ve been missing, and yearning for, but not knowing how to get. I want to get it.
Le sigh.
In other news, I created our save the date, and ordered it off of vistaprint. We made postcards and a couple of magnets for the parents. I’m so excited! I’m trying to make everything that involves decorations and paper. This wedding will be expensive enough as is. Gotta cut costs where I can!
 
Alright, lunch is officially over. Back to the daily grind…
 
God Speed,
Future Mrs. Johnson