The Tragical History Tom…

Bonsoir and all that jazz. I am sitting in the little back room of my land lady (ooh matron) and am sipping a cheap bottle o’ chardonnay. I have bought a CD of classical stuffs which I am listening to with my ear holes. I can’t complain too heavily. I’m looking for a flat of my own at the minute though, as I don’t want to wear out the lovelitude of my welcome. I do get looked after. Oh yes.

I may have found a cheap flat to dwell in- tis but £200 a month which is almost erotically cheap. That’s if I manage to get it. Which I probably won’t…  Nevermind. I’m going to get a snake too- either a chequered garter snake or an albino king-cali. I like snakes- they have cutesy little faces and eat insects and spiders and things that scare me- like burglars, goats and heights.

I have also one terribly emo and purchased two evanescence albums. I know, the shame is unbearable. Nevermind, at least I’m not a member of My Chemical Romance.

What else… ah yes. I now have full time hours, which are similar to part time hours onl fuller. I’m a kitchen assistant as well now you see. This means I wash pots and complain while making wry, sarcastic and witty (?) comments. I appear to be doing quite well at it too. I like having a few pennies to spend- I can buy CDs- I haven’t bought many CDs for 5 years. I’m even considering socialising with people other than my land lady and MartinandNicky Incorporated. This might mean I end up getting drunk and bringing shame on my family name- all the other stuff that makes life worthwhile.

I’m starting an NVQ again too- Level 3 in Childcare, Learning and Development. It is boring and uninteresting on Oh so many levels, but it does mean I get better qualified and can apply for a job as God, or at least the Holy Ghost or similar.

I have just recieved a text saying I may be able to get a house for £60 a week. A HOUSE!!!! I can afford that! I may be in a home soon. I will fill it with snakes to protect me from the goats. I’m all excitermicated. I probably won’t get this one either…

Well, on this note I shall stop polluting your eyes with my filth… so to speak… and let you get on with whatever lurid activities take up your evenings… toodleoo…

Tom.

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