Scandinavian Furnishings

Hello to thee, oh wise people of the world. And Lianne. I have actually got ten minutes free time (yes a whole 10) in which to update what I laughingly call my diary. So here it is.

As I have absolutely nothing to talk about it’s not going to be the hellsapopping rollercoaster ride you’ve all come to expect, but I shall try my best. And who knows, there may even be a mention of BADGERS in here somewhere (other than that one of course).

I have one month left in my little house, and four months left in Bangor. That is a weird sensation, especially as I am now one with the sheep. Yes I get buggered. Only sometimes though. Like never. Moving to Taunton will be odd, mainly because they all talk funny. They pronounce cock as carck for a start. "Will yoo ge’ yoor cark owta moi face" would be a typical Somerset sentence- I know Kate says it to me all of the time. Except she doesn’t. Often.

I bought The Sims 2 yesterday and did a Tom and Kate house. She’s having a Lesbian affair with a woman named Cassandra (while married to me no less) and I’m having an affair with a black woman named Ivy and Mick the grocery man. We had sex in the hot tub. Oh yes. It’s amazing how closely these computer games can mirror life.

As warned, the conent of this diary is of less substance than deep space, but then you were warned. Any complaints should be posted to:

Francois de’Fruites
Gannets Swonnicles
459 Pink Oboe Cul de Sac
Chutney
Ferreton

Do so now… Go on.

Right, now that you’re back I’ll end this entry. I will end it like this.

P.S. Badgers.