I AM THE FARMER!!!!!!

Dear all, I’m afraid I have an announcement to make.

Kate and Lianne are the uberpeople and you should all bow to them. Apart from midgets as they are tiny and it would be unnesseccary.

Anyhoo….

Yes, the weekend I spent with the two of them was exemplary. I can honestly say that I’m not sure if I have ever enjoyed myself so much in my entire life. You shoul all know my huge love for the Lianne anyway but the Kate… It’s kind of blown me away how well we got on from the word ‘farmer’… From the night of all three of us drinking champagne and falling asleep in the same double bed,  to the night we all got drunk and I danced on Rockers to the night after Lianne went and I desperately failed to drink raspberry sambucca it has been a bloody good run. I actually very nearly cried on the way home- which is odd for me, as I’m hardcore… ish…

I didn’t want to go on the sunday… Oh, and I thoroughly enjoyed the Gazbot and Natalie. Both of you should feel free to get in touch or I will have to poke you both with sharpened things!

I’m going to try and organise a long weeked over easter and I would be honored if the Kate, the Natalie, the Lianne and the Gazbot would care to attend. My house is a reeking hovel, but if you can make a nest amid the filth you are more than welcome.

I can’t actually put into words the fun of the time we spent together, as writing "ARE YOU THE FARMER" 46 times and giggling at Dude, Where’s My Cock just doesn’t live up to the quality of the company. When I am rich we will all live together and own a champagne company. Called Tokali Ltd (That’s the fist two letters of mine, Kate’s and Lianne’s names- sounds good though…).

Anyway, following that protracted period of drunkness I went home and began another one. The highlight of the week was giving my sort-of-niece a gingerbread man and watching her smear it everywhere and give herself a gingerbread hair scent. She also drooled on it so much that I decided it looked like a gingerbread burns victim. He looked like that shiny-melty faced Falklands guy. Very brave I’m sure, but small children would be afraid of him. I know I am.

Well, I’ve gone off on a tangent as usual, but there we go. That’s just the way I am. I’m currently on the phone to the Kate now (we are talking about her Grandma weeing on her), so I will leave y’all in pieces (ed. peace surely)…

Love me.

XXX