Here He Comes to Save the DAAAAYYYYY!!!

Why the hell are all the adverts at the side of my screen so depressing???

"Do you like snow? Well, Asian people don’t as an earthquake has killed them all. Send us your bank cards and pin numbers now. We won’t help the poor of Asia, but you’ll feel better for it, honest!"

Bloody adverts…

Anyway, I’m at my friends shop this morning as he wanted the morning off and I volunteered to cover for him- aren’t I lovely young man! I have to go and beat up the kids at 14:00 though so I’m a busy bee today, when all’s said and done!

I’m doing well in my NVQ stuff at the minute and only dropped 4 points on my last work book. As it was worth something like a hundred points I don’t think that’s too bad a loss! the woman then gave me an E.U. NVQ mountain’s worth of additional work to do so I’ll be sitting behind my desk sobbing over a sheet of paper hinting at the rights of the child in the work place. Why can’t they just challenge me to eat some crisps or roll in some mud or something- I’m good at that. Damn bleeding heart liberals. I don’t know what they have to do with anything but damn them anyway!

I bought a sandwhich from the bakers this morning and am infinitely depressed by it’s taste. It’s more or less pure mayonnaise with the odd pig scap thrown in, a bit of cheese and possibly some of Lianne’s pate (don’t ask…)… all in all, it would make Gordon Ramsey keep shouting "Fuck" while breaking things… though I rather get the impression that he does that anyway! Bless him and his Shouty Socks of Doom ™.

Blimey this place is quiet today… I’ve had one customer all day and he only spent £6… I love fat, ginger customers- I’m desperate to make a comment but I’m too polite! Just once I’d like to build up the courage to tease one, push them down the stairs and sell their carcass to the butchers… what a jolly fellow I am!

Ooooooh, I just sold a game on the internet… that means I’ve got to ring up and order it now. Damn. Bloody work. I could still be in bed, licking my elbows and reading "The Last English King" by Julian Rathbone (It’s a good book!)! Oh well, the money will be nice, as will the warm glow of a accomplishment when Martin returns in a good mood because of his day off, meaning I’m in the good books! Boo yah!

AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!! The dance music shop downstairs has started playing some form of drum and bass rubbish at unbearable levels! I Loathe that sort of ‘music’… not that I even count it as music! I’d rather listen to a badger being pushed through a mangle during the blitz….. though having said that, it would be interesting to hear the squealing, splating ululation of badger death over the staccato crump of heavy bomb damage… what a glorious chorus to listen too! Imagine the scene outside the Royal Albert Hall, when the posters for BADGER MANGLE BLITZ went up:

Stig O’ Frignahan; "Ooooh, I prefer the bombastic melodies of Beethoven and the glorious syphonies of Mozart"

Barry Stoats: "Fuck Mozart, BADGER MANGLE BLITZ is where the big money’s at! you can take Mozart and stuff ‘im up yer arse!

Yesss………..

Anyway, I must fly, as I sense big money to be made from two kids!

Tom

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*edit*

I managed to convice the gullible kids to spends £62! Go me…. muh ha ha!!!

Tom

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