A Year of Cheer, and Probably Beer

– / January –
|| does your town get a lot of snow? No, we island folk only get unattractive weather
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in january? Yes, my dear old mother, bless her little cardboard socks
|| do you go out in the snow if it does snow? Yes. Last time I buried my friends car and played till 23:30
|| do you like hot chocolate? Only to drink. I don’t like it poured into my eyes- it is inconvenient
|| do you do anything special for new year’s day? Yes, lie in bed nursing a hangover and lying to myself that I’ll never do it again…
|| is this your favorite month? Not really. It smells of hammers.

– / February –
|| do you give out valentines to anyone? Yes… but I’ve only ever recieved one due to my grotesquity
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in february? No, it is the month of the damned
|| do you eat a lot of candy on valentine’s day? no more than usual- gorging isn’t a hobby of mine… yet…
|| do you have a valentine every year? No, for reasons earlier mentioned…
|| have you ever had a valentine? Only once. However, it wasn’t edible so I got indigestion. I’m not sure either…
|| is this your favorite month? No, it is not

– / March –
|| are you irish? No. Blarney blarney.
|| do you wear green on st. patrick’s day? Only if I’m sneezed on. Blarney
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in march? I might do- I don’t ever remember though… Blarney
|| do you like the color green? Only natural greens. On plants. It looks pleasantly decorative
|| do you believe that four leaf clovers bring luck? No, but I enjoy their creamy taste
|| is this your favorite month? No, it is a pox upon me

– / April –
|| does it rain a lot near you in april? I live in Britain- it’s only ever sunny when we shoot raindancers.
|| do you celebrate easter? No- religion smells of cabbage.
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in april? Yes. My brother and my Sister. Bless…
|| do you believe in the easter bunny? Strangely no. I believe in the St. Swithens badger though. And the Mickelmas Goat
|| have you ever been in an easter egg hunt? Yes. Though I don’t celebrate easter, the chocolate is always holy
|| is this your favorite month? No, it is expensive and mediocre

– / May –
|| do you like flowers? Yes, they are lovely. And functional when needing an umbrella for a midget. Possibly called Terry.
|| if so, what is your favorite kind of flower? White lillies and white roses are wonderful things.
|| do you get spring allergies? I have never had an allergic reaction from a spring- I am metal proof.
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in may? Um… squidy from whom I stole this survey…
|| do you treat your mom well on mother’s day? No, I set fire to her and steal her trosers. That is a lie
|| is this your favorite month? Not really, it reminds me of the Duchess of Kent. That is another lie.

– / June –
|| what day does your school get out? Get out? What, have they all been sent to prison?
|| do you go to summer camp? No, but I have been known to act camp in summer- does that count?
|| where do you go during june? To bed, to work, to… ummm…. other places. Delhi maybe?
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in june? What is it with the birthday obsession here?
|| do you treat your dad well on father’s day? No, I accuse him of witchcraft and dunk him in the village pond. Duh.
|| is this your favorite month? No, it is too warm.

– / July –
|| do you go to summer camp during this month? No. I don’t like them. I feel they are actually Nazi training camps.
|| do you do anything special for the 4th of July? No. This is because I am English and have no interest celebrating odd American things. 
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in july? Possibly. I don’t know really. Ghandi?
|| do you go on any vacations in july? No, as I am so poor i simply treat myself to a break in my lounge.
|| do you go swimming a lot? I used to swim for my county but now I don’t. This is due to laziness…
|| is this your favorite month? No, the tempreatures are inclement for me.

– / August –
|| do you go on vacation in august? Stop with the bloody holiday questions!
|| have you ever had a summer love? Yes, but I was very young- I know better now
|| do you go back to school in august? No, as I’m far too venerable to have to go to such places
|| do you go to summer camp during this month? Shut up about summer camp… bloody hell!
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in august? Don’t know.
|| is this your favorite month? No, it is like a poison wind blowing through my life.

– / September –
|| do you go back to school during September? I don’t have to learn anymore! I have reached my potential- that is sad
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in september? I don’t care… Mussolini and his dog, Phillip
|| do you like school? It was a dripping pool of monkey vomit. Called Ted Watford-Bushammer
|| do you go big time school shopping? No, my lovely mother always bought everything
|| do you like fall? It is called Autumn you fool. Yes it is charmingly colourful and sprinkles droplets of love into the shining eyes of bunny rabbits. This may not be a fact, go and watch rabbits and report back.
|| is this your favorite month? It is pleasant enough. Like jam.

– / October –
|| do you decorate your house for Halloween? No, I think it’s corporate rubbish
|| do you party on Halloween? No more than usual
|| do you go trick or treating? No, as that is no

t what Hallowe’en is supposed to be about.
|| what costumes have you been in the past? N/A, unles you are not just questioning about Hallowe’en
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in October? Yes, me. I assume I know me, though I’m not sure.
|| is this your favorite month? I suppose it is the closest I’m going to get to the best

– / November–
|| do you like turkey? It is a lovely country, full of history, culture, atmosphere and dead ANZACS, Brits and Canadians
|| does your whole family get together for thanksgiving? No, because I’m English and don’t ever thank anyone for anything.
|| do you go away for thanksgiving? Not because it’s Thanksgiving.
|| do you know anyone whose b-day is in November? Yes, my wrinkled father and his teeth.
|| have you ever seen a live turkey? Yes. I once rode one round a field. Though that could have been a horse.
|| is this your favorite month? It isn’t too bad, but the devil is

– / December –
|| do you get a lot of presents for the holidays? A few, but I don’t celebrate Christmas so not that many really.
|| do you celebrate Christmas? No
|| do you celebrate Chanukah? No, judaism isn’t my bag
|| do you celebrate Kwanzaa? No, because I don’t like have that many a’s so close together
|| do you knows anyone whose b-day is in December? Supposedly some bloke called Jesus who got nailed to a tree.
|| is this your favorite month? It often has the nicest weather