Trauma Bonds

Exploitive relationships create trauma bonds. These occur when a victim bonds with someone who is destructive to them. Similarly, adult survivors of abusive and dysfunctional families struggle with bonds that are rooted in their own trauma experiences. To be loyal to that which does not work – or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive, or destructive to the client, is a form of insanity. (Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., CAS)

I remember the last time I talked to dad; it was the first time I spoke the word abuse to him. He agreed with me

I remember talking to my ex in the car one and he said you used the word victim.

I remember he got mad when I changed my mind and told him no, I told him he sounded like every rapist ever. He said he felt entitled.

I remember she told me I had a lot of self-blame.

I still want to deny it

I all have all the facts and still don’t want to see it