I think I may have been wrong again. Damn I hate when that happens

I always say plans fail people don’t. Find a new plan. I feel like every person around me is a big failure at this moment. Still have my faith in God but not so much in his people. I cannot wrap my mind around how so many, very Jesus loving, well educated people keep missing the mark on this and truly believe they are blessing me.  This is not a blessing at all.

If I wanted to feel like this, I would have stayed married. At least then I would have been getting laid once every 10 days to 2 weeks, that is not nearly enough but better than I am doing now.  He was always missing the mark too; it never made any sense to me.  To me it seems so easy, 2nd nature.

He would be mad at me if I didn’t want him to go to kickboxing with me. If he wanted to go to kickboxing because he wanted to spend time with me, wanted to learn about my hobby, help support me in my fitness goals, I would have loved to have him there with me.  That was not why he wanted to go. He wanted to monitor me, make sure I wasn’t talking to anyone else.

All these people intruding on my life and calling it love. It is not love; it is self-serving every way you slice it when you take away my ability to choose. you all need to study the bible some more. Pray and fast.

I am a very put together person most of the time and my pride doesn’t really get in the wat that much. I had no problem going to Mrs. Clause and asking for help. Did I want to? Hell no! I needed it and asked.  I don’t really have an issue when someone assertively but respectfully offers constructive criticism. I will take note of your concerns and decide who I may apply that to my life.  I accepted a stupid kind gift from Mrs. C.

So why is it that Pastor R. MT , Pastor M. I don’t even know at this who is doing what or why at this point, but it is all self-serving and not a gift.

For the past year you have all been failing here.

Had you come to me and said, Hey Sarah. We don’t think you are doing too hot. You are a hot mess actually.  We want you to take a break, and we want to fund it. We appreciate you and all you do. Do you think I would have said no? I would have for a minute and then said yes if the choice was given to me. Mrs C gave me a choice. Everyone else fails the test. I forgive you but don’t for a second think you were doing what was best for me. You were doing what was best for you.  I am not 5 I am grown.  You should all talk to God about it.

MT could drop a million dollars in my mailbox tomorrow and it isn’t for me or the glory of God. It was for him.