Feeling Conflicted

About this Prenup thing. I process in pieces remember that. I understand wanting to feel safe obviously I had to give up my stuff recently so my brain said he’ll yes give me a prenup for my daughters protection and mine. I am not worried about the romance of it.

My woman brain doesn’t like it, it makes me feel like a piece of property, like what’s my cash value if our marriage doesn’t work out. Do I get an Allowance if I perform my wifely duties? If I give up my career and raise children and service your manly needs for this many years you get this amount of money. Very transactional.

My Christian brain is like we are Supposed to be with God at the center, united as one, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, what’s yours is mine,  what’s mine is yours, all in, naked and unashamed  but…… let me keep my money over here to myself. That says not all in. That makes me feel like I’m earning your love.

Not a yes or a no just throwing feelings on it out.