3rd Time is A Charm

We don’t do failure here in this house. Our plans fail but we just re-evaluate and find new plans. Gods Plans!  When Grace was in high school, she decided she wanted to run on the track team. I picked her up and we were in the car driving home when she told me. I was surprised, she is not really an athletic person. I asked, “What made you want to do that?”  She could have told me anything really, I think it would be a good way to make friends. I think it would be healthy to exercise. I want to belong to a team. I think it will look good on my college applications. Not the answer I got. She said “Well, dad is always spending time with Ant at the BMX track, so I thought it would be a good idea to try the track team.”  She just wanted some time and attention from her dad, to be noticed and feel special. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. I let her do it but I know anything done for the wrong reasons is likely to fail, even good healthy things. Like my marriage, I needed validation that I was worthy of being love. My bad! Grace only ran for one season and quit. She didn’t get the attention she was looking for. She didn’t see that dad and Ant were at the same location, doing the same hobby but not having quality time engaged with each other. Him not giving her the time or attention had nothing to do with her. Those kids helped me grow just as much as I helped them.

Teenagers are a handful and a half. Individual Counseling, Inpatient Stays, Partial Hospitalization, Group Therapy.  They were always trying to date the other kids they would meet at group. It is hard to teach children sometimes. Do not try to talk to each other outside of group. It is really easy to feel connected to others when you are sharing all your struggles and supporting each other. All that empathizing and relating. You can fall for a therapist that way, I had no idea. Problems happen when you are both struggling with similar issues and in the early stages of recovery. You can drag each other down or limit the others ability to grow. You need to focus on your own healing. I could never date a smoker; I would start smoking again. No you can’t smoke just because we are not together at this moment. You want to come home smelling like smoke? Rude!! Children do not like to listen, we are always chasing lollipops and puppies. Can I go talk to dad?