what is Grimace?

I am going to answera  question that has plagued mankind for some 30 + years.  What the hell is Grimace?

Surely you remember back when Mcdonalds was aimed more towards kids.  Now it seems like its salad this, and low fat this, all in an attempt to win over adults by hiding the fact that they are the most disgusting resteraunt ever created.  How about this no brainer, if you want to lose weight, don’t eat at mcdonlads.  Anyways, back in the day like i was saying, Mcdonalds had a crap load of characters to help improve their image to the little kids.  Of course, the posse was led by Ronald himself, a creepy clown with red hair that always sat motionless on a bench somewhere inside every mcdonalds.  He had some friends too, the hamburgler who for some reason wanted to steal crappy mcdonalds products.  Then there was Birdie, who i have no idea what her association with mcdonalds was.  Perhaps she provided the McChickens.  Then we had the frie guys, which oddly enough made the most sense, since fries have always been Mcdonalds best selling item.  But then we had Grimace.  What was Grimace?  I always grimace when i think of eating food at mcdonalds, but that cant be what he is.  He can’t be a representation of an emotion.  After years of collecting data from various sources, i found many takes on what Grimace was.

Some believed him to be a taste bud.  This one did seem like a possibility.  Perhaps mcdonalds food does something to our tastebuds to make them larger then normal and purple.  But that still didnt fit.

Others believed eggplant.  Perhaps there was a concept burger for vegetarians involving some sort of eggplant patty.  Then at the last second, the item was removed before any were sold, yet Grimace lived on.  This seemed like an even better answer to what Grimace is.

Then there were the odd ideas that didnt make any real sense.  Giant ju jube, the top of an ice cream cone, or just a comfy beanbag chair.  Obviously these ideas seem a little more farfetched.  Well heres the real answer to what Grimace is.   Are you ready?

He is an alien.  Pure and simple alien.  Do i have evidence to back up this claim?  Yes.  If you can think back to the commercials in the day, often Grimace would arrive on the scene to meet up with the others, not in a car like Ronald, but in a flying saucer.  Yes, even aliens couldn’t resist the chemicals found in mcdonalds food.  I hope this answer doesnt disappoint all you eggplant, beanbag chairs, and tastebud believers, but unfortunatly, this is what Grimace was always meant to be.

Besides, an alien is much more believeable then an eggplant.  Who ever heard of an eggplant burger?  I grimace at the thought.