Lucky, lucky me

I often feel bad that I get to have such a good life, while Don “puts on the browns” and delivers boxes all day long for UPS. He sees people out in their yards and enjoying their gardens in the evening, drives by parents watching kids sporting events in the afternoons, and smells barbecue aromas at normal dinner times, knowing that he still has hours of deliveries before he can head home.

He deals with freezing temperatures, icy streets, dangerous drivers, and long dark days in the winter, and endures up to 120 degree heat in the back of his truck in the summer. He works with “guy-guys” who are a mix of incredibly hard-working intelligent men, or total (if not incredibly good-looking) idiots. The current management team is a mix of ex-jocks, ex-military, or short men who have Napoleon complexes and who expect miracles.

His average day is 10 hours of heavy lifting, jumping up and down out of a truck, moving at the speed of light to get all the boxes delivered, and dealing with the general public. And yet he goes through the days with his big grin, his hilarious humor and a great attitude. The people on his route LOVE him. He is exhausted when he comes home—but never takes his fatigue out on us when he finally gets here.

He has been doing this for 26 years.

The thing is, I know that he would have quit UPS and begun a new career (teaching) many years ago had I been able to contribute financially in a more equal way to this family. Because my artsy endeavors are feast or famine (or free) in nature, we have never been able to count on a steady income from me.

I would never be able to do the things I am doing and loving—and what I am good at, were it not for Don supporting me and the boys. Don has never made me feel guilt or held that over my head in any way—but I am acutely aware of what he does for me.

I feel this guilt myself tho–even more so these days, and especially this morning, when I know he is aging and tired and his body is breaking down after years of such physically taxing work. And in my heart I know he would not be going through this in such a difficult way, were it not for him making the financially disastrous decision to marry me fourteen years ago. He says sweet stuff and that he knew what he was getting into when he married me (did he? Muahaha!) and that he has absolutely No Regrets—but still.

Today while he was getting ready to head out into his day, I was sitting in my bathrobe, drinking tea and contemplating the illustrations that need to be finished today (for a SHOE DESIGNER! Heeeee!)

And yet I was filled with a rush of sadness as I expressed that I am doing exactly what I want to do in my life, and he is not.

On his way into work, he called me from his cell phone.

He said “Honey, I just want to tell you how much I love you and what a lucky man I am to have you in my life. You may not be contributing in a steady, financial way, but you’re making a huge contribution to this community, to the school, to the kids you work with and to theatre in this town. That you are important in these ways is worth so much. I feel like I am contributing in some way to the same causes, because you are able to. I am like your art patron.”

!

How did I find this man?

And so soothed, and feeling very loved, I now need to go draw shoes…

:)xo

Adagio

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April 13, 2006

You are the luckiest woman on earth 🙂 xo

April 13, 2006

What a lovely, lovely thing to say. But I bet you let him know you appreciate this from him, which makes it all the more worthwhile.

April 13, 2006

🙂 Be well,

What a beautiful thing to read. And you’ve made me view my UPS man in a different way. In fact I’m expecting a UPS delivery tomorrow, I’m waiting anxiously for it — does your guy know how happy he makes so many people every day?

April 13, 2006

You are SO lucky to have Don. I envy you that.

April 13, 2006

That’s so sweet, it brought tears of happiness for you to my eyes.

Cat
April 13, 2006

…he IS doing exactly what he wants with his life… he’s built a family and home with the love of his life 🙂

These are the complexities of lifem, the things that are never really settled, or finished, that haunt and delight us at the same time. We are both lucky women. And we are married to lucky men. So there.

April 13, 2006

He is one in a million, your Don and you both deeply appreciate each other. It’s all much deeper than luck, you know – there’s maturity, respect, understanding….all those positive attributes that are happening. It’s all very heartening to me, to know that such good marriages do exist……………. : )

Shi
April 13, 2006

Give him a hug and kiss and cherish the time you two spend together.

April 13, 2006

A strong marriage needs no justification. **HUGS** RYN: Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂

As your Brother, I can tell you and your friends that Don is an answer to my prayer too. I believe with all of my heart that it was no accident that you met him, but a Divine meeting that brought insight and joy to both of you. You complete each other. Don is one of those rare people who is the same in all aspects of his life. What you see is what you get and what you get is uplifted in your heart

April 13, 2006

First off, you paid your dues and some for others as well, so I’m glad as heck you’re lucky. And hubby really is needed in the world the way he is, spreading his energy far and wide, just as you are needed to give of your gifts. I think he got what he wanted most of all. 🙂 I sure get tickled reading this, feels so good!

April 13, 2006

You are truly blessed, both of you.

April 13, 2006

and some people don’t believe in magick;)

How do I get me one of those? Lucky and blessed is so very true. I want to be so lucky. 🙂

April 13, 2006

SO GOOD TO READ ABOUT TRUE HAPPINESS . How good of you to share with us. I had two appointments today and came home tired out. But every one wished us Happy Easter and your entry just made my day! Cheers!

April 13, 2006

I think you deserve each other…That is so rare these days…

It sounds like you have a loving brother, too! J I’m SO glad that you’re both happy, cherished and loved by one another. You know me and my “life unfolds to the better way” approach… in my mind, it’s quite likely that touching folks’ lives in this way is better for Don right now than being a teacher would be; that he’s doing EXACTLY what he’s meant to do. Hugs,

April 13, 2006

What a wonderful mate you have. That said, I think HE lucked out in the mate department too!

April 13, 2006

This gave me chills 🙂 Of happiness, of course 🙂 xxoo,

April 14, 2006

Sounds as though you’ve both struck lucky!

April 14, 2006

Oh my… what a lovely and..human..entry. Do you realize you have just shown us 2 beautiful people who totally deserve the goodness in each other. And you are lucky…but so is Don. Wow.. This makes my heart go all soft and tender..Warm hugs

April 14, 2006

…everyone should be so lucky sweetie! It’s that you know and appreciate each other the way that you do that is the core of it all…IMHO! Yep…got your last note…I won’t worry about calling until we have some solid plans in place. In the meantime…have a very HOPPY Easter! 🙂

April 14, 2006

It is so beautiful to hear that you both appreciate each other so much. And he really means it!!

There you go again, making me cry from the joy you share. WHAT a man! I love you sooooooooo much and RYNabouttoomuchhonesty: Hahahahahahaha! I hear you loud and clear and I agree.

April 16, 2006

I want one like him…can you direct me to the store please.

You are lucky, for sure .. and so is he! 🙂 You both have a great life and live it well. Thanks for writing about it. Enjoy!

RYN, I am the same way – I don’t want strangers listening to my personal conversations, so I keep my public cell phone chats as brief as possible, and I talk as quietly as I can! I wonder about people who have to be talking on their cell phones constantly, whatever happened to enjoying some quiet time for introspection, meditation, reading? I think they’re missing out.

April 19, 2006

A good man is a rare jewel. You know, I think I have one too.

April 19, 2006

He’s so dear – a rare treasure and a very wise man. But I understand how worth it is to him to support you – you’ve rare and special talent and he knows that not only will he be enriched by supporting you but that many others will also. He’s like Van Gogh’s brother except fortunately you’re not off balance like poor Vincent was.Love to you and yours dear friend.

April 19, 2006

Please say “Hi” to your sweet sister for me. I’ve never forgotten the love, warmth and hospitality that you and her showed me in Seattle. Will she be back home with you in July?

Hello Darlin: I use to think lucky me until I realized how imbalanced our life was. It was not fair or right for Matt to work a gazillion, grueling hours and I to have the comfort and pace of teaching yoga. Now our situation honors both our needs in a more balanced way. Maybe something to consider, or not. LYMmmmmm.

Oh my goodness, of course we are fine. Most of your noters don’t know you as I do, or know the impact Don’s job is having on him physically, let alone mentally. Of course he’d say he supports you, that’s who he is, but it does not change the fact that there (may be) an imbalance in the distribution of income responsiblity, and stress. Having been there, just a suggestion. LYM.

what a beautiful entry. he sounds like an amazing person, and what’s more, you let him know how much you appreciate him. i hope i’m lucky enough to have that kind of relationship one day.

It seems you are both very lucky to have found each other. What a generous man, what a loving wife – the stuff great marriages are made of. I know of so many unhappy ones, you two are an inspiration. I’m truly happy for you! Hope you post the drawings of the shoes!

April 25, 2006

Hi Adagio! Yes I’m still OK. And I think you know how rich you are with this lovely man!

April 25, 2006

Drawing shoes sounds like fun to me. I’d love to see what you do – I’m a big fan of your art!

Oh, sweetie! how did I miss this entry? You must have written it during spring break. It’s so hard to get paid to be “artsy” creative. You want to know something that kind of breaks my heart? Mr. B would probably support me forever in my creative endeavors, especially given the fact that I am doing more and more with kids. ryn: I would LOVE to live near you. you wouldn’t have to force me (c)

(c) to have lunch with you. Mr. B and I, well, when we talk of getting out of here, he always talks about us leaving together. ’tis a bit of a dilemma. 🙂 I love your don. One of these days, I’m going to meet him, and you’re going to have to let me give him a huge hug. Morgan would LOVE to work with you on costumes. She’s a behind-the-scenes girl, or will be once she discovers theater.

Cat
May 4, 2006

ryn: thanks! *big hugs back atcha, hope you’re doing well!*

June 29, 2006

*Raising a toast to Don* You are indeed fortunate in your choice of a mate, so that you can nurture your family, pursue your creative endeavors, travel to exotic and beautiful places, AND most importantly, feel loved! Yet…! All that you are able to share, as a consequence, especially, speaking for myself, in this diary, contributes to the great enjoyment of others! 🙂 xoxoxox