11/29/2012

there is a private version of this entry and it’s a lot less gentle than this one.

one of my favorites wrote an entry about porn and women. it was a good entry — it hit all the points that i’d like to imagine most men feel, but probably only a handful of them do.

i didn’t really have any issues with it until i found alan had been looking at porn this morning. i don’t care if he looks at porn. i look at porn. there’s still something that irks me about it, though. first off, i know i’m looking at porn differently. i’m more than likely catching a snippet to set my own fantasies in gear and then i’m not even watching the porn because, let’s get real, men in pornos are GROSS.

i know alan is watching tits and ass and imagining that girl with the tattoos who looks, strangely enough, like a new girl at work. i am not tattooed. i am not dark and pierced.

alan and i have a TON of sex. we had sex three times yesterday. i don’t know why he’s even looking at porn.

i don’t think i feel jealous that he’s watching porn. i think the appropriate feeling is inadequacy.

women are constantly trying to fit a mold we don’t fit into. whether we want to be thinner or smarter or funnier or prettier or taller, most of us aren’t happy with the way we are. we’re bombarded with the image of the "perfect" woman and i feel like this has sort of drifted over into porn. instead of taking normal women and making them porn stars and giving women sexual power, we’re stuck with fake boobs and fake orgasms. i’m tired of this fake ideal even in something that could actually give women some sort of control.

i’m angry.

Halcyon

November 29, 2012

You’ll never stop that impulse, you know. It’s built into men, or at least it is with all the men I’ve talked to about it, anyway. I talked to my best bud once because I was feeling guilty because my mind will sometimes automatically go to “I wonder what she’s like in bed” when I was dating someone and it sparked a discussion which sparked me questioning some of my other friends.

That being said, he’s doing a bit more than just the impulse, but does it necessarily have to be a bad thing? Porn, imo, is a safe way to let out excessive sexuality or to pseudo-experience new ideas. It’s a much better place to direct your sexuality in a relationship if you aren’t directing it at your partner or for some reason can’t or feel you shouldn’t. You know?

It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re inadequate, you know? Especially if he’s getting it on with you three times in a day, that tells me you’re def a big focus. That’s my feeling on it as a man anyway. I can def understand how you might feel differently. Or that I might be misreading him because I don’t actually know the guy.

Sonriendo

porn culture. hate.

Comrade

I have no idea why a guy would watch porn when he’s getting regular sex. Weird.

Bex-Star

November 30, 2012

I understand the frustration. And feelings of inadequacy. This situation seems a little different than when most women complain about their men watching porn… Because most of the time those women aren’t giving it up very regularly. I know Paco gives himself a hand from time to time but I also know that most of the time he’s looking at pics of me. So.

I would have an honest convo with Alan regarding his habits and whether or not he was looking at it because it reminded him of the new girl. Your concerns are valid. Remember that. You just want some answers.

stomach_muscles