09/06/2011

this is how it goes:

the pub run was okay. not as much fun as it normally is, but that’s okay. we dressed up and there were girls all over eric but he kept to me, kissing me and keeping his hand on the small of my back. i freaked out friday night because eric and megan were pretty into eachother and i felt left out and jealous. i don’t think i would’ve normally reacted this way, but my hormones are insane. i talked it out with eric and he felt so bad and apologized profusely.

saturday night we danced so much. it was more fun than i’ve had with anyone other than my mom. he spun me, sang to me, and cried. haha. he was SO drunk. we decided no more vodka EVER. he didn’t remember crying or why he was, but i do. i said something to him about motivation — about getting somewhere — because it’s his only downfall.

my brother has always treated us (his family) kind of crappy in comparison to the way he treats his friends and girlfriends. i now understand this because eric is similar. he is so good to me but he’s so easily frustrated with his parents and siblings.

he has so much growing to do and i don’t mean that in a bad way. it’s sort of exciting because he could be such an incredible man.

a front came in. it’s hilarious because it’s 95 degrees out and it feels AWESOME and everyone is commenting on how cool it is outside. this is after months of 105+ degree weather. ten degrees is huge. unfortunately, the front brought in serious allergens and i’ve been down and out yesterday and today. i’m delirious.

the sex has suddenly gotten so, so good. i’m not really sure what happened but it’s slower and more passionate and eric’s hands are all wrapped up in my hair and it’s perfect. waking up next to him is my favorite thing. we’re tangled in the sheets and i’m pulling him as close to me as i can, listening to his heart beat and smiling at the thought that he’s mine.

there are other things, too. his jealousy, his laugh, the stroll through the grocery store last night with him singing queen, the air gutar riffs he’s always busting out, the ease of conversation, the way he says "besos" and i lean in to kiss him. but it’s mostly about the way i feel. the surge of emotions, the control i have over how i feel, that i’m more emotionally healthy than i’ve ever been.

i want him for a long time.

there’s so much to write. soooo much. but i need some rice, some theraflu, and a nap.