08/14/2011

the date with eric was the best first date i’ve ever had. he picked me up, opened my car door, drove, and paid for everything. we hit a restaurant downtown and went to a few bars and danced like crazy.

he’s fun and i’m nervous.

i didn’t sleep with him though he slept over and i’m trying to do this right. we passed out at five, woke up several times, and finally stumbled out of my apartment around three for lunch. he’s a good guy and i’m caught sort of off guard and my apartment is a disaster because i’m in between apartments and i’m a little embarrassed.

i have too much going on to really stress about this, but i do like him and i did tell him i’m nervous because of this other girl but i think he likes me.

i feel like there’s something wrong with me. the minute i start to have real feelings i clam up and i’m not myself. i’m guarded and awkward and i’m still so afraid of getting hurt.

anyway, here’s to detoxing for the next two weeks.