08/06/2011

pub run august ROCKED. it was SO rowdy. rowdy was the designated term of the evening and it was so far beyond rowdy that i don’t even know where to begin so i’ll start with the biggest news.

i’m not going to missouri. i don’t feel right. i have this conor thing going on and i’m not ready to cut it short. plus, i think it’s going somewhere. on top of that, i’m not someone who can do something if my heart isn’t in it and right now, my heart isn’t in missouri. i don’t want to hurt cameron or conor. oh…and i need to find a job and maybe missing the first day of class isn’t very smart. those ten days will be crucial to me.

but don’t worry because you’ll have conor stories instead of cameron stories and i’ll start with thursday night. this is conor:

conor played a show at my favorite bar on thursday. megan and i caught a bit of it but left before it was over. gotta play hard to get, you know? he texts me at 12:45 (right after they finished packing up) and asked me if "needed a big spoon" and i said of course and he was over in an hour. as we fell asleep he told me, "you have no idea how good this feels. especially after waiting for so long."

we slept in, i went to the barbecue for work, i came home, we slept more, woke up and made togas.

i like him. i think it’s something that’s been in the making for a while. he’s always been in the back of my mind. when i was really lonely, i thought about heading to chris’ and asking conor to just hold me but i figured he’d tell me to fuck off or something.

he gives me SO many compliments. about how sexy i am. it’s awesome. this morning i woke up and i felt conor stir a little bit and the first thing he did was pull me to him. we sleep so well together. like cameron but better. he holds me and…it feels good. good as in right. we woke up and he bought breakfast for megan and i and megan left for the bathroom and i looked like crap (i had dried face wash on the side of my face…hahaha.) and he was like, "i like your eyes. they’re blue. ish. maybe green." when we left he held me in the parking lot and kissed me and…i don’t know, the feelings are creeping in.

and the sex. yummmmmmm.

he’s really different than i thought he’d be. he has that mysterious thing working for him and i always thought he was kind of an ass, so to have him holding me and nuzzling my neck is this huge incredible surprise.

i don’t even want to write about pub run now. just conor.

this is something good.