07/24/2011

it’s all about timing.

from tom to cameron, from not really having friends here to having thirty people at a bar on friday, with school and my family. it’s things like this that make me take a step back because when one door closes another always opens and it’s perfect the way it works out.

the last week has been a whirl wind. i’ve gotten most of my sleep between the hours of 4 pm and 7 pm because i’ve been passing out on the couch between 1 and 3 am and waking up at 4:30 am for work. it’s fantastic, seriously. i’ve found myself on porches, in garages, on patios, on dancefloors, and in cars with the most awesome people. i’ve met some girl friends and we had girl talk over bean and cheese tacos last night and i needed something like that more than anything. just to dish. about cameron. about blow jobs. about love handles.

i’ve been nervous about cameron. ten days is a lot of time. more time than we’ve ever spent together. i’m talking about combined time, too. i talked to jessica, his good friend and the girl we’re going to be staying with, and she was telling me that he talks about me all the time. she’s made all of these plans and i’m back to counting down (20 days) and trying to budget.

ha. budget. that must be a joke. i’m so terrible at it.

speaking of jokes, my workouts have been ridiculous. i used to wonder how i completely stopped working out when i moved to colorado, and now i know why. as much as i love running and being at the gym, it doesn’t trump smoking a joint and enjoying myself.

i can’t explain the way i feel about cameron right now, but it’s enough to make me stay away from guys and tell people i’m seeing someone. i don’t want to be seeing someone else. the tom thing came to a close at the best time…enough time for me to piece myself back together and clear my head.

i can’t wait to have sex with cameron. i can’t wait to be around him period.

two more weeks of work. then i’m moving. man, it all moves so quickly. i’m trying to grab whatever i can and hang on and take mental notes and snap shots because this is what it’s all about.