02/18/2013

i’m into my second week of water, green tea, exercise, whole foods, low sugar. i don’t care about fats as long as it isn’t saturated fat and i’m taking my workouts slow and trying not to discourage myself. i’m not trying to lose weight because i’m at 130, but i’m trying to straighten my life out with food. i had a cheat day yesterday as i will every sunday, and maybe that sort of defeats the purpose, but i can feel the difference already.

after i ate "normal" food yesterday, i woke up super irritable and tired today. all last week i was pumped up and vibrant and i started today sluggish and grumpy. so, the point is, all the shit they put in food REALLY does impact you.

i’ve been gluten free pretty seriously for a while now and that helps a ton, too.

i wish i had exciting things to write about. i mean, life is so good on the regs now that i can’t even write about good things because they happen every day. i’m simply stashing everything away in my brain — how i feel these days, how i feel even on bad days, how much better life is from a positive angle, how simple everything has become lately. i want to keep this going as long as possible.

i’m picking out clothes for coachella, trying to figure out if i want to cut my hair, scrounging around for cheap camping gear, routing and re-routing our drive. there’s sxsw in march and cold war kids will be there, along with lots of other bands that’ll also be at coachella.

i know what all of this is about. my entire life i’ve pushed through things and rushed to get to the next state of my life. i hated being young, i hated being a teenager, i’ve always wanted to be at the next age because things always seemed brighter at the next stage of my life. i’m not rushing anymore. i’m embracing my job because i love being a waitress and i make good money. i’ve always been ashamed, but why? i’m doing things on my terms on my time with my money. i’m doing things for me.

i’m planning a trip to europe with my mom for my 25th birthday. alan and i are heavily talking about spending a big chunk of time in the philipines either next year or the year after. sorry for the repetitive entries. sorry they are so general and insensitive (i think), and i wish i could pour out my heart onto these pages the way i have before, but there’s no heartbreak lately.

it’s only joy, lots and lots of joy.