October 14, 2010-

I don’t know where all of the hours and days go.

Brian. I love him so much. He’s such a difficult person with his mood swings and depression. He’s so smart, though, and when he talks about medicine and patients and illnesses, all things I have no understanding of; it turns me on mentally. As I type now, he sends me text messages saying “I’m so in love with you, S. In my mind and heart you are the perfect lover and friend.” On queue, I melt and adore him even more. This is tonight. Right now. Tomorrow he will pull away and take three steps back. This is his pattern. I play along because I don’t know how not to.