March 2, 2009

Sometimes these very unique opportunities arise for me to take my… career? no… I don’t know… interest, maybe? Anyway, there are opportunities to take one of my interests much further than it is currently. These opportunities have come up in the past and sometimes I have gone along with it and sometimes I chose not to. This time it’s actually a pretty big deal. It’s not something I want to become a big part of my life, but it’s fun to do sometimes. Brian is adamant that I will not even consider it. He didn’t even let me get it out of my mouth before he stopped me and said no don’t even ask.

It’s fine that he doesn’t like it, It’s certainly not important enough to me that I would risk causing a rift between us. It’s just the way he says things. It was like I had no say in any of it. I asked him not to talk to me that way and that I would prefer to make my own decisions. That just enraged him. He took it to mean that I was doing this regardless of his feelings and basically telling him to fuck off. That wasn’t what I meant at all, but I couldn’t convince him of that. So now he’s mad at am and accusing me of all kinds of ridiculous things. “You just want to get out of town for awhile so you can sleep around without me knowing”, “You need to grow up and act like an adult instead of trying to live the lifestyle of an 18 year old”, “You just want the opportunity to be around a bunch of people who encourage you to act like a whore”. It’s all just so silly. Good gosh, I didn’t act like an 18 year old even when I was 18. I don’t think I’m immature at all. And the cheating/whoring thing… isn’t my style, never has been and never will be.

So anyway he’s mad. Ugh…

I wish I hadn’t even mentioned the opportunity to him. I should have known he would react this way.