I Don’t Need Anyone
Dear diary…
Sooooo…I’m not sucidical. Not at all, really…but I don’t want to live anymore. Its not like I’m gonna end myself. Cause I love my mom and dad I would NEVER make them go through it.
I wasn’t like this before, I was the happiest girl…what happened to me? Where did it go all wrong? Where did I lost myself? But now..its like I wake up everyday and I don’t wanna get up and meet anyone. I don’t want to look anyone in the eye. I don’t want to hear anyone’s voice.
Admit it…we all have had this kind of feelings before! These past few weeks I have a feeling that I might have depression. But I don’t have the guts to tell anyone about it. My sisters they make sure that I have an awful day everyday. And my little brother is beginning to hate me, because the story’s my sisters telling him. AND HE’S ONLY 8. geez imagine if he hates me now what will happen in the future? I try to play with him but he just says he doesn’t need me. I don’t know what to do. So I just don’t need anyone.
I’m happy if I’m alone and so do they…I think. My parents love me and I love them.
I think I really have a depression. UGHH I hate depression it causes a lot of pain. Im really trying to be strong and I’m holding it as long as I can. but I have a feeling I might burst into tears. I don’t want to!!! its getting to me…but don’t worry I will not do anything stupid. I really wanna go somewhere very far and scream and nobody hears me. I want to cry! I really want to. but I can’t or else they will think I’m weak.
I know it’s hard to take that first step (because I’ve been there), but muster up the energy and bring it up with your doctor or your parents. I had this chat with my doc a year ago, which led to receiving the care I needed including regular therapy appointments. I can tell you that therapy has been the most amazing experience for me (and I know, scary to take that first step, but so worth it). I hope you get the care you need soon. You’re certainly not alone, and not weak at all.
@apexbloom thank you☺
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Some sisters just suck ass! I feel like you, I am just tired of this life and really for the next step whatever that maybe. Hang In there
@mermycohea we should both stay strong 🙂
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I been feeling like you do in a lot of ways despite I had therapy for 13 years only to realize that my therapist didn’t really help much or not at all for my issues. So I am about to search for another therapist.
@itsjustmarina good luck hang in there!!
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