A Bad Dream…

Dear diary…

a couple of days ago I had a really bad dream. Like a really REALLY bad dream. so I dreamt about my mom…she died. She was wrapped in white clothes. And my dad spoke to me: she doesn’t looks beautiful like this…so he painted the white clothe all black. Starting from her face and then the rest. And my oldest sister she didn’t really care as I just stood there beside my dad. No one was crying…not even me.

Then i woke up…and I was crying. In my sleep. It was more like sobbing. That exact moment I knew that it was a dream so wanted to stop crying but I couldn’t stop. My one spot of my pillow was filled with my tears…

And the worst thing was that I couldn’t open my eyes and I was still crying. My eyes were closed and I was crying. I was thinking like; hey…you woke up open your eyes its gone its oke…but I just couldn’t.

So after few minutes I eventually woke up and I was feeling broken. It felt like the feeling that I wasn’t feeling while dreaming…I was feeling it after I woke up. I was praying to myself that this dream doesn’t mean anything. And I never had this bad dream or woke up crying like this so it still is a shock for me. I really wanted to talk to someone, but who should I be telling?

I couldn’t tell my mom that I dreamt about her dying. Or my dad cause it fell weird. I cannot talk to my sisters cause the fight we have. Or my brother.

I’m still thinking about it. I’m typing this with weird feeling and eyes wet. I did tell my mom that these days I have weird and bad dreams but I couldn’t tell her about what. So she THE TYPICAL MOTHER took the ritual of taking the evil eyes off me. She’s sweet. I somehow felt better. Mothers have this MAGIC that just makes you feel better.