My J-O-B *

So I want to talk about my job for minute.

I’m so conflicted sometimes as to what the hell I really want. Remember just a couple years ago when I was thinking about going to school for Cosmetology and So, oh so excited I just *knew* this is what I want to do, or at least try. I went to school and loved a lot of it, towards the end it got to be a little Cosmo overload… but in general that year went by pretty fast. I survived the long days & long drives.

I got this chair rental position in town {one block from my house} pretty much handed to me even before my schooling was complete. And everything seemed perfect.

I do have great flexibility, like right now — I’m home for lunch, to make my kids lunch & to do some dishes & laundry in the middle of my day because I have a few hours break. I went in at 9, did 2 hair cuts & nails and I have a couple more haircuts this evening {my next appt so far isn’t until 4pm}. I have the flexibility to be "on call" because I’m so close and can be at the salon in 2 minutes if needed.

I love this part of my job.

Some things I *don’t * love

• Chair rental is $75 a week. On "4 week months" this is $300, on "five week months" {which we seem to have a lot} it’s $375.
• I never know what my income will be, I can have a great week or couple days & make possibly $200+ in a day, then I can go for a whole week or more with nothing more than a mere couple haircuts at $15 a pop,
• I’m in charge of all my expenses & keeping track of all my income. And paying taxes on all the income {which is supposed to be done quarterly — and honestly haven’t been, because I just can’t make it work! — so come tax time that will all be due {plus late fees} & it scares me quite a lot}
• I HATE doing hair styles. I hate styling someone after a cut & I especially HATE doing updos! I don’t know why, they’ve never been my fav — and I think I SUCK at them. – This causes me a lot of anxiety.
• Gaining a bigger clientel is so hard — although I’m not trying as hard as I should.

More things I *do* love

• Set my own hours, I want the day off — if I have nothing booked yet… ok, mark it off.
• I love doing nails
• I love doing hair colors
• The people I work with are pretty nice
• There is no drama
• I love getting paid in cash and having that money instantly, I don’t have to wait for a paycheck.

I don’t know what I want, somedays {like this morning} I dreeeead getting up and ready for work, I just want to quit and never go back. But then I get there and have some great clients, and start to feel better and am glad I’m there working, making money.

I love working Fridays because it’s just Dorothy & me. Dorothy is probably close to 70. She’s been doing hair forever… Friday is the day she has all her "Shampoo Set" ladies come in for their weekly ‘do. It’s mellow & I don’t feel any pressure.

When I work with my two other co-workers, I get stressed more easily, I compare myself to them alot {they’ve been doing hair 15 & 8 years} and I just don’t feel "as good" as them and that makes my confidence struggle and sometimes I leave thinking I just suck. Somedays are good where I get a lot of positive feed back and feel FANTASTIC…. but I still don’t have that constant confidence I really really need.

I don’t know what I’m going to do once this baby arrives. I KNOW I want to take a BIG chunk of time off to bond, get reaquaintted with this baby stuff, hopefully get the breastfeeding thing down & just enjoy my baby! But I already feel there will be pressure from Jason to get back to work as soon as possible, in some way.

I know I really don’t want to have a child in daycare…. I know I could probably find a place with flexible hours, where I could work on J’s days off maybe? I just don’t know if I want that place to be where I’m at now.

I guess I’ll have to see how tax season goes, and how badly I’m screwing this all up.
I DO NOT like paying chair rent & DO NOT want to keep paying it while I’m off work… but that might have to be what I do.

I just go back & forth with DO I LOVE THIS ENOUGH to keep it up? But then I think who am I to say, oh… I don’t like this career as much as I though I would, I quit. Who gets to do that? We really need another income. So ………..

I’m still trying to figure it all out.

*Responding to a few questions*

Could I work from home? I don’t think so, I rent a pretty small house, I can’t remodel to make a "salon room" and even if I could — do NOT have the space here. :/ Maybe eventually if we get a house that can be an option 🙂