My Saturday…
I know it’s been awhile, something happened over the weekend between my sister and I that she posted about in her diary. It requires my response and I have too much to say in just the 400 text reply box…so I’ll preface with the situation that occurred. And be prepared if you’re reading, this is LOOOONNNNNNGGGGG.
Saturday night Daryl and I wanted to go to the casino for a few hours, my mom asked to come along so that meant we needed a babysitter for the three girls. I called Megan to see if she and Bill (her bf) would be interested in babysitting and they gladly accepted to watch them. So the deal was that we dropped the kids off around six for a few hours.
We got to their house about 6:30 and left there at 7:15 to head out to the casino. When we left my older sister (Monica), her husband(Mike) and their two kids were also there to drop off a power wheels for Megan. Mike had a captain and coke in his hand, Monica had a wine cooler or twisted tea, something like that in hers.
So anyway, we leave. About 9:30-9:45 we’re getting ready to leave the casino and I pull out my cell to call Meg and let her know. I see at this point that I have several missed calls as well as two voice mails. I immediately listen to the voice mail which are from Monica and Megan respectively. Both the messages are saying that Bill’s daughter couldn’t sleep with all the kids in the house so Monica and Mike took our kids to their house so Bill’s daughter could sleep.
Here’s where the problem is; first Monica and Mike were both drinking. Perhaps that was Monica’s only drink, but Mike was driving and I know for certain that he had with him the bottle of Captain and a bottle of coke, so he didn’t only have one drink. Second, there were no car seats. Faith (9) doesn’t use a car seat, so that’s fine, but Kendall(5) and Reagan(3) always, are in car seats, always. I’m a bit anal when it comes to my girls, the kind of parent that other people roll their eyes at because I follow the "rules". But I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my children to be in car seats when they’re in a car. Not ony weren’t they in car seats, but they were in a friggin’ truck. So they didn’t even have their own seats and buckles, they were also sitting on laps. Third, and also least important because I really don’t believe it was known at the time (it wasn’t made known to me until after we left the kids off) the truck they were driving wasn’t even registered.
Here is my sister’s version of what happened, pretty much the same as mine…
"They did and ofcourse my sister Monica picked this day of all days to bring Jo’s quad over – with husband, and both kids.
Ok no big deal.
No big deal until 9pm when Leigh is still screaming her lungs off because she can’t sleep with all the people in the house and the kids making so much noise. Mind you bed time is at 7:30pm and Leigh’s mom is very anal about her daughters sleep – I can NOT blame her as I am the same when.
Well Bill came out of Leigh’s room with her following, face read screaming hysterically. He says "Great idea Megan" as he brings her back to her room and I laugh because I know he’s being sarcastic.
Monica and Mike say they’re leaving and they can take my 3 other nieces with them so Leigh will sleep.
I had no idea what to do, so we spent the next 15 minutes trying to call Marissa, Daryl and my Mom’s cell phones to see if that’d be ok – no answer. Finally we left messages saying they’d be with Monica and Mike.
Now I didn’t have Reag (3’s) carseat, but Mona and Mike live literally 5 minutes down the road and I honestly have no clue what to do. I let them take the kids while Bill is still in Leigh’s room with her screaming.
Next thing you know Marissa calls all pissed off because Monica and Mike were both drinking and there was no car seat. I had NO IDEA Monica had anything to drink. I guess she showed up with a twisted tea, but I was so busy with kids and showing everyone the house that I seriously never even saw a drink in her hand.
Now Bill knew this, but he was off tending to Leigh, so therefore I was screwed to info.
I went to sleep thinking this was just frigin fantastic that I tried to be a good aunt, got stuck in a shitty situation and made a choice that pissed off my sister. Any choice I made was going to piss somebody off and I just figured if they went with them Leigh would calm down and not wake Jo up again.
What’s done is done right? I can’t go back and change my choice.
I wake up this morning and Bill and Leigh head off to have breakfast with their family. Me and Jo stayed – I did dishes and called my mom.
Don’t stop reading now. I know this is long, but it gets even better.
Well first I’m informed the vehicle Mona and Mike were driving is NOT registered – lovely.
When they picked the girls up Mike told them that he’d never step foot in Bill’s house again because Bill was talking down and swearing at me all night. He seriously made Bill look like some asshole wifebeater. Even told them that at one point he came out of Leigh’s room and said "Megan shut those fucking kids up now" – never happened.
Then they went on to say that they wouldn’t be shocked if in another couple months Bill basically takes me hostage and makes me stop seeing and talking to my family because he’s such a controlling asshole.
What would cause somebody to say such awful things? Especially after you call your buddy at the courthouse and tell him to take care of Bill’s custody issues and then invite us to a marina party.
<font style="background-color: #008080" face="Comic Sans MS" colo
r=”#ffffff”> Bill is AMAZING to me. He treats me so good and I SHOULD NOT have to defend him or his love for me OR Jo. He won’t even swear infront of the kids. I’m honestly disgusted that such terrible things could be said. I don’t take it lightly considering the past my family has with my father be so very abusive to my mom.
You don’t lie about those things.
Now I call my sister Marissa to apoligize and let her know that had I know Mona was drinking and the vehicle was unregistered I WOULD NOT have let them take the kids. I also wanted to let her know that Bill DID NOT yell or swear at me or at anyone in the house.
She just gave me an attitude, told me Faith had told them Bill didn’t yell at anyone and then said she couldn’t talk.
I hung up crying and called my mom back to let her know that I tried to apologize, but Maris wasn’t hearing it.
I suppose this goes back to trying to do and be everything for everyone.
I can’t do it.
I’m human and make mistakes as does everyone else. I recognized the wrong and although I could not fix it I tried to apologize and explain the logic behind it.
Stay mad. I’m sorry.
Fuck me. I’m always going to be the fuck up right? Right. Always.
Meg never does anything right even when she tries.
I wonder what the worth is behind trying to be something to everyone.
Sometimes it breaks me down. I hurt this one, that one hurt me, shit. It’s never going to end unless I just give up and stop trying.
My mom says that Maris was crying and said I was the only one she trusted with her kids and she can’t even trust me. Thanks.
I’ve watched those kids for a year now making 115 a wk. Whatever.
I’m the fuck up, don’t trust me.
The sad thing is as much as all of my sisters may piss me off at times I trust ALL 3 of them fully 100% with Jo.
When your backs up against the wall and nobody is answering a phone to give up any advice you have to think quick. Quick thinking never leads to good choices, but hell I had to do something to satisfy everyone and that wasn’t going to happen.
Nobody thinks "Hey Meg has been under alot of pressure this month give her a break".
Nope. That’s because nobody even asks what’s going on in my life. Dare you to ask anyone of them when my final projects are due, what they’re about, how much I have to write – they won’t know.
…"
So Monica and Mike did tell us that Bill was being really rude, disrespectful etc to Megan. It took me two seconds to ask Faith and Kendall if there was yelling between adults to find out if that was the truth and Daryl and I knew it wasn’t. That was just Monica and Mike’s way of making it look like my kids had to get out of that house and their way of preventing me from getting mad at them for an irresponsible decision too. Didn’t work. I’m not stupid. I’m angry at Monica and Mike too. Here’s what it comes down to though, I asked Megan to watch the girls, the final decision came down to her. Perhaps she felt like she had her back against the wall, but it takes two seconds to turn it onto me, "no, I can’t get ahold of Marissa, you better leave them here or she’ll be pissed at me". Done.
Their house is only five miles away from Bill’s, but that shouldn’t have even been a thought, it should have either ended with, they have no carseats, or Mike’s been drinking quite a bit. Faith was actually scared, said to me "Uncle Michael was driving and he is such a crazy bad driver mama" What do I say to that?!
As far as not caring what’s going on in your life Meg, I do. You know I do. If you choose to believe that I don’t, then so be it. I could say the same thing about you too. The simple fact is that my hours suck at work and you and I don’t have nearly as much time as we used to to catch up. The little time I do have, I just want to relax. I have a lot going on here and I’m completely overwhelmed, I thought you knew that. My apologies to you if you feel I’m not genuinely interested in your life.
I appreciate you apologizing to me, I do. I know it wasn’t easy, and I know that you realize you should have done differently now. I guess I just feel like there wasn’t enough thought going into what happened. I feel like I put my girls in your hands for you to just pass them off after taking 15mins to "think" about what to do. I KNOW in my heart, that if the situation was reversed and I did that to you with Jo you’d be ripping pissed. You and I both know that that house is the last one we want our kids at. My girls hardly ever go there, especially if Daryl or I aren’t there with them. I could have asked Monica and MIke to babysit the girls Saturday night, but you know how that house can get. And honestly ages don’t matter when it comes to carseat safety, really. I know that you had to do something "to satisty everyone and that wasn’t going to happen" so you should have made the choice you thought would satisfy the person who’s kids it involved, right?
As far as the trust thing, I did say something about trusting you. I don’t look at this situation lightly, it’s my kids. In one minute because of one poor decision I could have lost my entire world. I know you understand this as a mother who’s own daughter is her world too. So scared that my kids were put in the situation
that they were I did question whether I could trust you. And I won’t apologize for that, I think that the circumstances definitely allow me to question that.
One more thing that I feel I have to address because honestly, I’m tired of hearing it, and seeing it. I would appreciate it if you would stop complaining about how much money you are making to watch Reagan. You throw it out there like it’s a meager $115 that you could live without and doesn’t even begin to pay for the job you’re doing. You watch Reagan from 7:30/7:45 – 3 Monday through Thursday. For at least 1-2hrs of that time she is sleeping. You have the luxury of being at mom’s, with your own daughter while watching Reagan. You are able to watch tv, go on your computer, talk on the phone, have your ciggs whenever necessary, all while getting paid. I can send Reagan to daycare in town for $130/wk. Five days, 7-5:30. At a daycare where she’d be with other kids her age, no tv, outside time everyday weather permitting. I know that you need that money, as much as I need you to watch her for convenience. We are not ripping you off at all, and I’m sorry that you feel we are. I didn’t choose that pay by taking a regular daycare cost and cutting it in half, I thought it was more than fair. Ontop of that, you are still living in a house where all amenities are paid for by Daryl and me. So please, think about this a bit more before you complain, it really is fair compensation, and I am tired of being offended and feeling guilty for it.
So where does this end? Sure the situation is over, and I’m sure with time, I’ll be over it. I’m disappointed, hurt, and upset. I’m allowed to be, just as you are. Nothing can be done to correct the situation, the only thing that can be done now is you accepting how I feel and understanding that you would likely feel the same had it been Joey-Lynn.