update part 2 is completely irrelevant now…

cuz brian & i ended things on fri night. we finally had THE talk, about *us*.  he told me that he didn’t want a "wifey".  i asked him to elaborate cuz i dont speak 20 year old slang, so he told me that he’s not looking for a serious or long term girlfriend.  i asked him if it was b/c he’s still not over his ex or if he’s afraid of getting hurt, & he said "both & then some".  turns out his ex, tina, was the love of his life (his words).  she came here from south africa for an au pair job & thats when they met & started dating.  she left to go back there for school, but was planning on coming back to the US.  but then she got a job offer there & now shes not coming back, & that basically fucked brian up.  i can understand that, i don’t blame the guy for not wanting to get into another serious thing right now.
 
he asked me what i thought about the whole thing & i told him that i’m not the kind of person who can just be hooking up w/ someone & all that for a long period of time knowing it won’t ever be more than that.  i asked him what he wanted to do, if he wanted to never talk again & he like flipped out.  he was like "no way, never ever" blahdee blah.  i said "dude i’m sure you’d live" & he said "yeah but i wouldn’t want to not talk to u anymore, it would suck" on & on.  i thought it was kinda weird considering he was the 1 who said he didn’t want a relationship.  he asked me if i’ll still go to the bar & i said yeah but prolly just on thursdays cuz that’s when the guys go & he said i could do better than that & i said we’ll see. 
 
so we had this talk around 4:30 (am) at my house, but he didn’t end up leaving ’till 6.  after the convo i told him he could go & he said "are you trying to get rid of me?" & i said no.  he kept hugging & kissing me & all this shit, which only confused me more. so i pretty much came to the conclusion that apparently he DOES like me, but i guess just not enough to want to be w/ me after what happened w/ his ex.  my sister said maybe he’ll miss me after a few weeks & decide to give it another shot, but i dont really think he’s that kind of guy.  he’s got his friends & all that to keep his mind occupied, i doubt he’ll be thinking much about me.  too bad i don’t have that same luck…

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September 4, 2006

But are you thinking about him because he was the love of your life, or because you are lonely? Maybe now you can start working on some of your stuff that you were talking about. Take the time to figure out what kind of guy you are looking for, and don’t just settle when you meet someone, make sure they are right for you and end it if there is no connection.

September 4, 2006

And in no way am I saying that you shouldn’t be sad over this, I am sorry that you two broke up and couldn’t make it work. But at the same time I am happy that he is not stringing you along and that you can take this opportunity to be with you, figure yourself out.

September 4, 2006

i am impressed that he actually came out and said that he didn’t want a relationship because he could have kept you hanging so that he could keep getting what he wanted until you would stop things because you knew it wasn’t going anywhere. in my experience guys avoid that convo like the plague. at least now you know. take care hun. i’m glad you are back and updating!

September 5, 2006

yooooo !!! its crazy, im back,with really shitty entries but at least am i back!! hows shit going? are u still friends with that danielle chick?

September 6, 2006

*hugs* Ugh, boys. And at that age too. Well, assuming he is around 20. Why the eff does he think he won’t get over whoever? He’s so young…

September 19, 2006

Honestly, U aren’t goin 2 want 2 hear what I think. But, I think that it’s 4 the best. U r much more mature than he is. His young friends, and not being able to give u what u need is a problem. I think that u should use this time 2 reflect on what type of man u would want 2 be with. What type of personality he would have & hopefully go somewhere & find him or let him find u.

September 19, 2006

note2: I know that if u r friends w/ him he will want 2 talk 2 u about her & would u be able 2 handle that? He has 2 accept she made a choice 2 stay where she was because that’s what she wanted 2 do. He has 2 find it N himself 2 move on no one can help him do that. Remember how u felt abt phil when u guys 1st broke up? Well, he might even have felt like that abt his ex while u were 2gether.

September 19, 2006

note3: Sadly men r’nt always as mature as they should B & that’s real sad. I’ve always liked men a few yrs older than me. Maybe u should try datin someone a bit older maybe a 30 or 31 yr old someone’s who’s mature enough 2 handle their business & is ready 4 a mature adult relationship w/o hangin around tons of young girls. Theres a man out there 4 u really cute, cool guy who u can get along w/.