time goes by so slowly

OK so here’s an update *finally*, as promised… So much has changed since I last wrote. I got fired/quit (it was a mutual not wanting me to be there anymore thing) my job at the small law firm in the beginning of December. The assholes tried to keep me from getting unemployment (yes again, I always find the cheap ass lawyers to work for!!!) but thankfully I proved my case in the end & got my money. I was out of work until the middle of February, which is when I started my current job at a huge insurance company. I was trying very hard to find a BIG place & I was very happy w/ the size of this place. My only small concern at 1st was that it’s a bit further from home than my other jobs have been, but I’ve gotten used to it & it’s only an extra 10 min commute. Plus Jim actually works right down the road from me so we carpool a lot to save on gas. The salary is "eh", but it’s worth it b/c big companies have much better benefits (I finally have dental insurance!) & perks. Most of the people here are very nice too which is awesome. The work is boring administrative stuff, but oh well, it’s work.

My love life is a total mess, as usual. In my grand tradition of always liking people I really shouldn’t, I’ve developed a crush on K. Yes, I’m talking about Bob’s brother, Jim’s good friend, & Matt’s EX friend. The guy who knows that I’m a virgin & that I hooked up w/ all of his friends (including his brother on a few drunken occasions). I’ve always thought K was kinda cute, but I never thought about him in that way b/c when I 1st met him he was dating Liz & then after they broke up I didn’t know him very well. But now I know him better & I’ve discovered he’s a nice, normal, funny, cute guy. Unfortunately I also know the chances of him ever seeing me in the girlfriend way are extremely slim. He knows that Jim is still in love w/ me & that alone is reason for him to avoid me like the plague. He’s very hard to read, sometimes he says/does stuff that makes me wonder if he likes me too, but other times I think there’s prolly no way. Who knows…

I actually attempted speed dating a couple of months ago w/ my friend Kalie, but that didn’t work out so well for either of us unfortunately. We both met a few guys but nothing romantic came of any of it. 1 of the guys I met lives a good 50-60 min away from me so I knew that wasn’t gonna work out from the start. Another 1 of the guys was 35 & looking to settle down soon & I *so* am not looking for that right now. Plus I don’t go out anywhere where I might be able to meet any new guys (except for the bar sometimes w/ the boys, but obviously it’s a bit difficult to meet a guy when you’re w/ a group of them already) & they’re not exactly knocking on my front door looking for me. There are no cute, single guys at my job – at least none that I’ve met yet – so that’s no help. One female friend I’ve made at work is engaged, but she says her fiancee’s friends are all losers. Kalie doesn’t know many guys either, & any guys my sister knows are too young for me.  Ugh.

Speaking of my crappy love life, things w/ Matt have gone from worse to over. I’m sure I’ve said this a buncha times before, but I’m *SO* extremely fed up w/ his bullshit that I don’t think I can deal w/ him anymore. It’s not even worth getting into everything that’s happened between the 2 of us since I last wrote so I won’t bother. Basically it was more of the same nonsense, fighting over ridiculous stuff & him being a dick. At 1 point he told me he liked this chick, Jen, from his job & that was the last straw. Any feelings I had for him pretty much left at that point, even tho a few days later he called me & told me he’d been wrong about her. Idiot. Hopefully I’ll have the willpower to stay away from him from now on, I need to move on w/ my life & deal w/ my problems & issues so that when the next guy comes along I’ll be ready for a healthy relationship instead of more crazy bullshit.

As for Danielle, we got in a nasty fight in December, a couple of weeks before Christmas. Right after I left my previous job at the law firm, I decided I wanted to visit my friend Kara (from high school, she’s also friends w/ Kalie) who lives in North Carolina. I briefly considered moving there, but I figured I didn’t have enough money saved up, & I wasn’t ready to leave my friends & family yet. Anyway, I knew I was gonna be driving down there cuz I don’t fly (I can’t remember if I’ve ever mentioned that I’ve never been on a plane before in my life & therefore now I’m petrified of getting on 1) & it’s about a 9 hr drive from LI to NC. So I figured I’d ask Danielle if she wanted to come along since she was temporarily out of a job too. I was surprised when she actually said yes, but she did so we made plans to go together.

Then came all the drama. First it was a paper she had to write for school & she didn’t wanna leave ‘till it was finished (tho of course she hadn’t told me about that when I’d *first* asked her if she wanted to go). Next it was stuff w/ her family & then it was getting too close to Christmas & blahdee fucking blah. Finally I got fed up w/ it & pretty much told her off. We ended up getting in a huge fight w/ text messages cuz the bitch doesn’t like to use the phone for whatever reason. We cursed each other out & just generally said not-so-nice things to each other ‘till finally Danielle said our we were wasting our time. I agreed & said “maybe I’ll see you at the reunion” (my 10 year high school reunion

is in June – ahhhhhhhhhh!) & we haven’t spoken since. It’s prolly a lot easier for me to deal w/ not talking to her cuz now I have Kalie. (Before Kalie & I started talking again, Danielle was my only female friend.) Of course it also helps that I know Danielle’s a major bitch & I’m *much* better off without her in my life.  (Oh, & I never ended up going to see Kara after all that bullshit…)

I think that pretty much covers everything w/ me. Stuff w/ my family is the same as always. I’m still on Paxil, & in general I’m doing OK depression wise. I’m extremely glad it’s spring & that the weather is finally getting warmer. I’m also happy that baseball season is back, heh. The Mets have been doing pretty good so far (& the Yankees haven’t – wooooooooooooo!) so that makes my day. And that’s it for this update. I have no clue when I’ll write again, hopefully next time I do there will be something interesting (& positive) to write about. I hope anyone who’s still sticking around reading my entries is doing well. Take care everyone, ‘till next time…