dragging out the heartache a little more

            Last Sunday night (9/17) I went to the bar w/ my sister. We were about to walk in when I saw Brian standing in the doorway w/ his friend P. I knew it would be totally rude to walk right past him & pretend not to see him, so I said “hey” as I walked in & he said hey back. My sister & I sat down at a booth cuz we wanted to eat, not just drink. A little while later, Brian actually came over to our table & started bullshitting w/ us.
 
            I was kinda surprised & a little annoyed by it, but I of course didn’t say anything. Melissa (the bartender) came over too so the 4 of us were chatting. Then Brian asked me if I wanted to go in the back for a smoke & I said OK. I figured the only reason he’d ask me to smoke w/ him was cuz he wanted to talk to me about something, & I had no clue what it might be. So when we got outside and he didn’t say anything right away, I looked at him & said “sooooo what’s new?”.
 
            He said “nothing”, & then he asked me “do you hate me?” I was like *you’ve gotta be KIDDING me, this is what all this shit is about?!?* I looked at him & asked “what difference does it make?” & he said “it makes a big difference.” I can’t remember everything he said, but he did say there’s no reason for us not to talk. I told him that I’d seen him a few times in the past week or 2 & we hadn’t spoken & it’d been fine. He said again that we hang out at the same place & should be able to talk a little, so I told him that there’s nothing for us to talk about. (He had no reply.)
 
            He also said “I don’t want to hurt you”, to which I of course replied “you already did.” So he said “ok well I’m trying to make up for it now” & I said “you can’t.” He said “theres NOTHING I can do to make up for it?” & I said “nothing you’d WANT to do” & he was speechless. Then I said “you trying to be nice to me now isn’t gonna make up for it” & he had no response again.
 
            Then he told me that he noticed I took him off my myspace friends list & I said yeah. He said he went to my profile & read my blog & I kinda freaked. I wrote a blog the day after he emailed me saying he didn’t want a relationship blah blah & it pretty much went off about him. The title was “if you learn from your mistakes then it’s not a waste of time” & it basically went on about how I made exceptions to be w/ him (b/c I didn’t wanna date another younger guy & I didn’t wanna date a pot head) & that I wouldn’t make that mistake again. At the end of the blog, I wrote “u blew it baby, u had a good thing & u let it go. good luck finding someone as sexy as me who will treat u as good as I would’ve”.
 
            He said the blog had sounded like I was a little mad so I laughed it off & was like “yeah whatever”. Then he said again how he couldn’t believe I took him off my myspace friends, so I told him that if he sent me a friend request I’d add him back. He said “you promise?” (LAME) & I said yes. Then P came outside & said they were gonna go smoke a blunt so Brian said goodnight to me & left. (And btw, he never sent me a friend request so he made a big deal for no friggin reason.)
 
            I didn’t see Brian again until this past Thursday night, which is also the night Kerry set me up w/ her friend Chris. Buuuuuuuut I gotta split right now, so that story will have to wait ‘till next time! Hope everyone is doing well, I’ll update again soon, I promise!