~Grief Conference2

The Conference was also Friday, March 8th, at 8:30am…. I was up at 7am and out the Door to sign in and get my Packet by 8:00am. This time I sat up front 8 pews back, hoping to avoid much of that head swaying trash that blocks my view. We had the same speaker as the night before speak. And then we had 3 Workshops to go to. The Day would end at 4:15pm.

The 1 class I went to before Lunch-
Never too Young-
“This workshop seeks to create awareness of the needs of Grieving Children, explore how to communicate with them about death & grief, share activates to help them identify their feelings and deal with them and discuss concerns by members of the Audience.”
This woman has dealt with children’s losses for years yet she was a lousy Speaker. I just didn’t feel it was a very good class. And she got off of the subject when someone made a comment and she then was talking about Children having babbies and how schools need to educate kids better. Some people got up and left at that point.

They server a Lunch. Consisting of Sub Sandwich. Chips, Cookies, Fruit, Soda, Coffee, Punch, Tea. And you could go back and get more too. Last year I took my lunch to my Car cause I didn’t was to sit in the Fellowship hall alone looking like a Dork This year I chose to sit in the Fellowship Hall Alone and….. I was eating and hearing snippets of people’s conversations. One made the statement to another as saying… “I hear that Child Loss is the Hardest, over a Spouse Loss”. Now Typically I am a very quite the Shy thing, but a statement like that… well I couldn’t be quiet…. I said, “Do you mind if I make a comment on what you just said?” I didn’t give her time to say yes or no.. I just told her what was on my mind. I said, “I have hung about in Grief Chat Rooms and Grief Message Boards and I have read about all types of Grief… I Lost my 12 year old son, BUT I can’t say that my loss is harder that loosing a Spouse. The 2 are so different! There are different things we lose in both people, that we miss.” Then she tried to make a different between a Young Child and an Adult Child. I have talked and read message boards where Adult Children were lost, and the parents Grieve seems to be just as Intense. I told her, “Age doesn’t matter. It depends on many Factors… The relationship the parent had with the Child, One’s Spiritual Walk, How they died,…” etc etc. She agreed with me and then that was the end of that.

The next Workshop was-
The Impact of Sudden Tragic Death Through Crime-
”Many people do not realize the ramifications which a sudden death brought on by a criminal act can cause to the lives of those who were close to the Victim. In this workshop we will focus on the after shock of such events, what can occur in the long term if ignored, , and what is Post Traumatic Stress vs. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”
One Woman talked about losing her 22 y/o son to a Stabbing. She stressed the Importance of getting involved with the Victims Assistant Group in your Town. This Group was such a Support to her family. And that they share with you on everything that will happen through the Judicial System. So she was prepared when she went to the first arraignment and she heard So & So against the State of New Mexico, she never once heard her son’s name. She said it is good to work closely with the Prosecutors. Tell them all about your loved one, show them pictures. This way when they go into Court they will go there knowing your Loved one, that they are representing a Real Person and not just the State of which you live. She said, be your Loved one’s Voice.. You’re the only one who can speak for them now.

The last Workshop was the best-
Men’s Grief-
“Listen to 3 men talk about their Grief Journey and how they experienced their Grief.”
One of the men did not show.. They figure he must of totally forgot. He had asked about another man to come and help him a bit, so this man wasn’t prepared to be talking a lot but yet he ended up talking the most. This Man lost his 25 year old son to a Car Accident. We sat in a Circle, and people asked lots of questions. It had been 3 years for this Man and he had a tough time talking about it without Crying. Another Man from the Audience shared. He lost his 22 year old son to M.S. and he cried too. You just don’t see men crying too often. They both shared from their Hearts. As I listened to this 1st man speak I felt I wanted to share with him a few Grief Sites, and give him a few of the Kindness Cards.. and so I did.

Over all it was Good…. Next year maybe I’ll ask Brian to go with me.