Day 1

I joined Open Diary in 2006.
I wrote about my broken heart.
I wrote about meeting someone new.
I wrote about how I fell in love with him immediately.
I deleted that old diary because I thought I had found my happy ending and I didn’t want to be reminded of the brokenhearted girl I was.
And now 7 years later, I’m joining again to write about my broken heart.

Pathetic, right? 

Now I wish I would have saved that old diary just to compare.

The reason? 

There was no infidelity. No abuse. No dysfunction. He is/was my best friend. We were kind to each other, respectful, and patient.
We were simply a man and a woman loving each other, but not wanting to compromise on one thing – children.

He has a child already. I don’t have any. I would like one. He doesn’t want anymore.

So what do you do? You part ways and die a little each day, that’s what you do. You begin mourning each other and wishing the other one would give in or compromise in some way. But that wouldn’t be fair. Besides, what woman wants to be with a man who doesn’t see his future children in her? It’s truly devastating.

Maybe it’s a guise; maybe him not wanting to have children with me is his way of saying, "I don’t love you enough."