She doesn’t go to sleep to dream – but I do

I absolutely love my dreams. I prefer to sleep over being awake and I am pretty sure that makes me “depressed” but it’s hard to explain why I love dreaming. I don’t mind when my subconscious throws me strange weird twisted curveballs. Each night is like a custom movie made from all my hidden wants, desires, and fears. The more vivid the better. Reality sucks for me. I am demanded, and relied upon in so many different ways I feel like I am captain responsible and if I dare take off and be irresponsible I am degraded and hated on. So I just sleep so I can let everyone down without the shame they try to put on me. Sleep is my biggest avoidance technique. When I am sleeping I am actually doing my mind, body, and soul good. I could care less about all the other people in this world and their reactions to my actions. I like getting through my day by looking forward to when I can sleep and dream again. I am living life to sleep. The thought of sleeping being a deadly sin just popped into my head as I type this and my immediate response is to argue that I am only valued as a person on this earth because I am revenue generating. So I can see where sleeping doesn’t fuel the economy and therefore could be deemed a sin. But in my opinion, sleeping is safer than doing stupid things that hurt myself and others and if not enhancing the lives of others is a bad side effect… so be it! Zero is better than a plus or a minus at this point. Being awake has so many laws like the law of gravity for instance whereas 🎶the dreams in which I am flying are the best I’ve ever had. 🎶(My lyric brain just sang that last part to the tune of Mad World)

It’s October 1st — A new leaf, a new chapter, a beginning for the end. Goals are being made and implemented. ‘Getting back to good.’ 🎵-matchbox20