Dear Diary, I’m new….

Dear Diary, Hi, I’m new, I don’t exactly know how this all works but I’m hoping this will help me kinda just……spill I guess. recently I have started finding myself closer with god and wanting to repair my relationship with him after I have done many many sins that I regret. I lost my faith when I was at my lowest part of my life and I feel really happy that I have started to rekindle my relationship with him. I am a teenager however so I never had the strongest relationship with him. I mean, my family doesn’t go to church every Sunday and I rarely pray. I just recently purchased a bible in which I only paid a dollar 25 for so I feel I should soon invest in a better quality bible. I have been struggling with my body image. When I was younger I would struggle with not wanting to hurt myself but instead just disappear and die, though that’s not happening now, I have pushed through….but I have started this thing where I pinch the inside of my elbow or any of my extra skin on my arms whenever I feel uncomfortable or unhappy with myself. I’m not sure if that’s self harm or me just being dramatic. To just be completely honest, I hate everything about myself. I hate how when I get comfortable with someone I open up too much and go nuts. I hate my voice I hate my body, my smile, my hands, my eyebrows, my weight, my thighs, my stretch marks, my personality, my laugh….I could go on forever. I want to rekindle my relationship with god that way I can keep going on with life before I end up going down a dark path. Anyways, I dumped and I dont even want to re read it so thanks for reading if you even did. Good night.