You Are Not Alone Circle
Entry 1- Blind Burial Diary
I’ve had too many attempts these past few weeks. I keep fucking up somehow. My mom walked in. It wasn’t deep enough. I cried so hard I couldn’t do it. There are a few people I would like to say this to, not that I ever would. I hope I don’t ever see you again.…
I’m worthless
He makes me feel so worthless and a piece of shit . I'm tired of how he treats me, he asks me why I say such bad words about my self. You are the. Reason. Calls me a whore, piece of shit, my son belong in foster care cuz I'm a shitty mom. It has…
I wanna say
I don't know what to do. I know my purpose now, learn how to play the piano, but I'm currently out of a job right now, may have a new job by next week, but I don't have the funds to pay for the classes I've signed up for. And I'm supposed to be fasting…
Preparing for another transfer…
I’ve officially decided I’m transferring our last embryo. He deserves a chance. Why wouldn’t he? Simply because some lab said he had an extra set of all chromosomes? Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn’t. Polyploidy results are one of the number one testing errors of IVF is done with ICSI. Because ICSI...
Anyone out there?
Hi out there fellow anonymous humans. So strange how this all works - its like we're all floating in our relative universes but its to dark to notice the other pieces of star dust next to you, surrounding you, sometimes far away. A bit like me, desperate to find another piece of stardust (or what...
I’d rather take valium
Let me preface by noting I have an inexplicable desire to spell valium like it's in the etymological school of 'vacuum' so I'll occasionally spell it 'valuum.' You get what you pay for around here. Tonight I've been irritable since about 4:30 when I woke up from my nap. And I haven't been able t...
The Relationship Struggle is Real
The title says it all. Life simply feels like a struggle lately. Determining what the right thing is, who the right thing is. A struggle. It shouldn’t be. I know in my head the “right” choices. My heart isn’t having it tho. Not. At. All. My heart misses the past. It’s terrified of the future.&hel...
A little of everything.
So many changes. So much to write about. Yet, so little time. I feel like I just can’t get caught up in life. There is so much going on and I can’t handle living in the chaos or the mess of this house. So, instead of writing or sharing my feelings I’m simply trying to…
In Love, Light and Laughter
6 months of meditation, and today it was clarity, beauty and joy. Suddenly I was basked in light, connecting to above, to universe. Of course, it just never occurred to me, that the answer was always: do not aspire to be, be. All those talk about setting intention finally clicked, and how I re...
Healing After Break-Up, Dating Next
I really wanted to take a nap but realized I won’t sleep tonight if I do that. So, I took an Adderall instead and am waiting for that to kick in. In the meantime, figured I’d listen to my book and write an entry. I’m on my phone so we’ll see how long I last.…