A year ago…. I knew this week would be hard but I hadn’t anticipated to literally constantly be thinking “one year ago today”. Yet, here I am. Thinking about the past. Wishing for a different future. One year ago today I was just arriving at my hotel after getting the only speeding ticket of my&h...

I find it really hard to mourn for someone who has not been in my life for so long. I mean we dated, then became friends, dated again off and on for years. He got married and I got married. He had kids, but we remained friends. Then last month almost a week after he…

Today. Today hits like a freight train. So did yesterday.  The day before it.  The two weeks before those. I knew it would hurt.  I knew my soul would feel mind-crushing pain.  Yet, I didn't know that mind-crushing pain would be so freaking deep.  So hard. With the date we assumed we'd have to in...

How is it that someone who didn't yet exist is the most devastating force in one's life? He forced you into me, then forced you out. If things hadn't ended so violently, where would we be? I, indeed, would have left him, aware that I couldn't battle his demons while protecting you. We'd be rentin...

It's been awhile since I've taken the time to sit down and process my thoughts and feelings through my diary, but my therapist recommended I take some time to do that as I approach the anniversary of losing Sam so here I am... 1/31/24 will mark 3 years of life without my son.  I spend…

She’s gone. Just like that. I’ve spent countless weeks worried I’d lose her. Convincing myself with each week that went by we were getting safer. Begging my paranoia to let me enjoy my pregnancy and my sweet girl. I was so excited to hit 12 weeks Wednesday. To accomplish that milestone. To know w...

Does it ever get easier? Does the heartache ever stop? Do the memories of them fade? She and I met at 22 and 20, respectively. We dated for 4 years and we’re engaged for 1.5 years before my future came crashing down. We called off our engagement and split. The relationship wasn’t perfect, but she...

I’ve been wondering why every time I get excited over something, it gets taken away. Like last weekend, I manifested to get new clients last week and to finally get my first bridal client. A day after I tried to manifest it, a friend called to set an appointment with me for his friend who…

He ain't my problem now. After months of reflecting and going back and forth about how I truly feel about my ex, I have come to a conclusion, although not as solid yet as I would want it to be, that he is someone else's problem now. After watching countless videos on attachment styles, mental&hel...

Im broken. Beyond broken.  I hurt so deeply that I don’t know how to move forward. Im tired of crying, im tired of the pain.  I don’t know how to live my life with this devastating change. My boyfriend of the last 6 years decided to quit me early this month. He says he still…