I’m ok, really…

So I had that freak of a little man come to my door last night like nothing happened. So I ended it with him. I felt so proud, for once in my life I said its over…no going back. No letting a man walk all over me and convince me otherwise. I think I am growing as a person.

I confid in a very close friend of mine about my situation, my pain, my loniness. He is a good friend in which we have known each other for many years. He’s helping me through everything. I really can say he is my best friend. I am working towards dealing with the pain of being cheated on, the feeling of rejection from someone you love and trust. Its worse than losing a spouse through death, it is seeing that person alive and well and not being able to go back to the way life was. I am over the feelings I have for my ex, but I am not over the hurt of the act of cheating. I ca’t judge, as I am not a saint myself. In my younger years I had cheated, not on my husband mind you, but on my bf’s. I now understand the hurt they felt and I have said my sorry’s to them. I have no good excuse, as there is no excuse for cheating.

I feel that this situation has taught me a lot, I am abe to be comitted to someone. I addressed the biggest fear in my life and I overcame it. I feel accomplished…And some day I will look back at this and say, I was strong, I made it threw. I know that if I didn’t have the support of my good friend, it would be a lot harder. He’s my rock. Hey, at least out of this I got an amazing friend, that I wasn’t that close with until I started talking to him about this situation. There is positives to ever negative, sometimes it takes me a moment to find them….I hope to focus on removing all negatives for right now in my life and replacing them with positives.