Begin Again

Two nights ago, I sat here and wrote my first entry. When I pressed "Save," it had disappeared. I figure that’s a good enough metaphor as any for me.

Halloween was a couple of nights ago – i was Phoenix rising from the ashes, featuring my baby as the egg. That’s another good metaphor for what this baby is bringing: A whole new life. A new life amongst many lifetimes, all lived in a 35 year span. And I find myself in the phoenix’s place of rebirth once more. Beginning Again.

My journey is a journey of healing. This I know. Little more, at times.

I’m creating this diary as a place to catch the thoughts and snapshots of that journey. I don’t plan to care about feedback, about what others would think. As a matter of fact, it is part of my process to do my best to break through any barriers of worry of what "others" would think. I hope that this diary will help me get somewhere, that i will not remain as ash, scattered easily by the wind, but become condensed, distilled, refined through the fire of circumstance into something purely alive, purely unique, and painfully beautiful.

Once again, I begin again.