mean inconsiderate jerks

How can someone be so sweet and caring one minute and throwing pizza head at your head in a room full of people the next?

I am so tired of giving all that i have and getting nothing in return. Is it too much to ask for a little respect? If not respect for the things I do but at least respect for being a mother to your children or at least a human being?

All I do is clean and cook and make sure no one in this house wants or needs anything. And it’s only gonna get worse because the mother in law moves in this week. I never ask for help, i never ask for a break, and I never expect anyone to do what is expected of me. I understand they are all busy working and going to school. I don’t disillusion myself to think I am mistreated or overworked or anything of the sort. All I’m saying is I don’t wanna be treated like a maid or a slave.

Don’t get me wrong…he doesn’t beat me and he doesn’t act like this all the time. He is pretty much a good man. I just can’t stand the humiliation of all this. I just wanna run away from everything that is my life. I don’t wanna do this anymore. If it weren’t for my kids I seriously think I would choose not to wake up. I can’t handle the way all our friends are looking at me like I’m some pitiful soul who needs to be consoled. That’s not me. I’m supposed to have the relationship everyone is envious of. I know they are wondering why I stay because I’m wondering the same thing myself.

This all started tonight with our 6 year old son. One of our friends walked in his room looking for their daughter and he was laying on his bed with his pants down. I understand it is his room and his privacy, but I wanted my husband to go talk to him about it. My husband takes him in another room just to be told he was only changing clothes. Maybe its a guy thing and maybe I don’t get it but I expected the "talk" only lasted about 90 seconds. So I say nevermind I’ll talk to him later and next think I know I am gettig a slice of pepperoni hurled at my head. The entire room falls silent and I am mortified. I just wanna become one with the couch. I wanna turn invisible and pray no one sees what I just seen. Then he has he audacity to come in the room fifteen minutes later and pretend nothing has happened. His hand on my leg makes me wish I was a fucking cannibal so I could bite it off. Why am I so discontented? Why do I have so much rage? Was this a minor offense that the liquor is making me overreact to or is this really happening? I don’t know and don’t really care at this point. I am so hurt.

And to top it off it happened in front of the biggest busy body in our entire small town. She has left with my napoleon and I’m sure I’ll hear all about her opinion from my bfff when they go home tonight. I hate being the topic of conversation. Especially since I know she would never say it to my face. I am so embarrased and there is so much that can be said about me anyway without adding fuel to the fire. I am so pissed at him for doing this. It is so out of character. Not just the throwing things but the whole bringing people in our business thing.

Anyway, I guess I am done. Comment if you like.