Filler (take two!)

As much as I still have things I want to say and things to clarify, my motivation for writing is at one of its regular rock bottoms again at the moment, so I thought I might use the opportunity to copy/steal/"gack" a couple of surveys/questionnaires/"memes" that I came across while reading -amethyst-‘s journal. Hopefully, while not requiring too much creative thought on my part, they will provide my new readers with a fair deal of insight into who I am and how I think, and remind my old readers about the old Venomous who hasn’t really changed much in the last few years. I know some of you were asking me to post a bit about myself a few entries back, but since I don’t do banal self-promotion very well, these questionnaires should suffice in place.

So, without further ado…

1. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?

Actually, I don’t have one. I do have a tendency to choke up a little or become bleary-eyed during some films, usually the most unlikely things one would ever expect, but I’ve never all-out wept at a movie. The closest I’ve ever come, that I can recall, was the second time I watched the finalé of Quantum Leap. The first time, I watched it by accident and was too busy picking my jaw up off the floor, but the second time, I watched every episode chronologically from pilot to finalé, and the last five minutes just ended me.

Funny side note though, I did cry the first time I saw Titanic, but in my defense, it was not due to the film, but because my first ever girlfriend was crying at it, and back in those days, it really broke me up to see her cry, so I cried because she was crying. I ended up getting over that sentiment pretty quickly, though…

2. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?

What do you mean, "if I could"?? Who says I can’t?? =P Heh anyway, I’d probably get a little extra fat sucked out. I’m finding myself way too lazy and unmotivated to exercise lately, so a little bit of a surgical headstart would be great right about now. =)

3. Do you have a completely irrational fear?

Nope. I have many, many completely irrational dislikes, but my actual fears are all very rational.

4. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?

My bowels turn to liquid and I am quite urgently forced to relocate myself to a toilet where I will spend up to half an hour making all kinds of disgusting utterances of pain and discomfort. =P Thankfully, I’ve arranged my life in such a way that I am almost never in a position where I would feel insecure, since that’s just not a nice thing to endure. 😉

5. Are you a pyromaniac?

Not really. I’m not prone to playing with fire or randomly igniting things, but I do rather enjoy fire aesthetically, I love candles, and if there’s a fire going, I’ll always take a moment to stop and appreciate it when I can. I guess I’m more of a pyrophiliac. =P

6. Do you have too many love interests?

Not since the court started enforcing the restraining orders. But I’m not bitter. Someday, I know you will be mine, Michelle Trachtenberg….. >;)

7. Do you know anyone famous?

You mean besides myself? Oh wait, that’s INfamous. In that case, no. Well, unless you count my several romantic relationships with young Hollywood starlets, which my shrink says don’t count, but what does she know….

8. Describe your bed:

It’s a queen sized bed, with black cast iron frame, header and footer, and a wooden slat base. It has six pillows on it – two cheap ordinary synthetic pillows, an expensive chiropractic foam support pillow, a good goose-down pillow, an enormous brown suede cushion with feather trim, and a small red synthetic pillow made of a smooth flexible fabric and filled with tiny little beads, which is all misshapen and stretched from playing with it too much. The bed has a plain black fitted bottom sheet, a plain black top sheet, plain black pillow cases on the two cheap pillows, checkered black on black pillowcases on the two good pillows, and a checkered black on black duvet cover. The color scheme is, however, pure coincedence – I am not a goth (or, as the kids say these days, "emo"), they just happen to be what’s on there right now, usually my sheets and covers are red or purple. The bed is, as always, in a permanent state of dishevelled chaos, a testament to my insomnia and general problem with restful sleep.

9. Spontaneous or planned?

Both, actually. I’m very spontaneous of manner, I often blurt out whatever I’m thinking, or do whatever I please at random without any thought for propriety or social graces. When it comes to doing things of substance though, I’m an obsessive planner – I despite having to leave the house or do anything social or practical without at least 48 hours confirmed, concrete notice in advance, and am easily flustered by last minute disruptions to my plans. Yeah… try living with me. =)

10. Do you know how to play poker?

Yes. I’m an intermediate player of standard five card draw poker, and a novice at the recently more popular Texas Hold’em. I can hold my own in a low-stakes friendly game of either, though I rarely come out a "big winner".

11. What do you carry with you at all times?

My cell phone, credit/debit/store cards, keys, sunglasses, any time I leave the house. For anything much more serious than just going to the store, also my watch, neck chain, and a ring. At home, nothing whatsoever. =)

12. What do you miss most about being little?

The sheer innocence and naiveté of youth – not knowing anything about the sinister way the world works or the macabre nature of humanity. Knowing that I could try to do anything I could ever possible imagine, with the worst possible repercussion being a smacked backside and sent to my room. Also, in my particular case, it was a much more innocent era when I was little, even with my own childlike perceptions aside -you could ride your bike up to the corner store or over to a friend’s house by yourself, and not end up on a milk carton. Also, not paying bills, or even knowing what bills were. When you’re little, electricity, gas, water, all these things are generated magically and for free by your house.

13. Are you happy with your given name?

No. I think it’s too feminine. Which is interesting, because purely coincedentally, Amethyst, whom I plagiarized this survey from, has the same given name that I do, and her answer was that she dislikes it because it’s not feminine enough! I have to agree with her too, though – I think it’s one of those horrid unisex names that on a boy, isn’t masculine enough, and on a girl, isn’t feminine enough. But then again, I’m very old fashioned when it comes to names – I think all boys should be named Bob and Steve and Rick and Mike, and all girls should be called Jenny and Jessie and Kelly and Krissy… =)

Interesting side note – almost nobody who knows me online today, knows my real given name, as I usually go by my middle name instead. Some of my oldest and/or most trusted online friends know my real first name, but I’d prefer to keep them the minority.

14. How much money would it take to get you to give up the internet for one year?

USD$50,000 cash, in unmarked non-sequential C-notes in a suitcase, plus expenses. I run an online business, so I’d need to get everything paid up for the year in advance, and hire a part time person to keep an eye on things and make sure everything doesn’t go down the crapper while I’m gone and have me come back after 12 months only to declare bankruptcy and go all chapter 11 and shit…

15. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?

Like myself? No, not particularly. I’m pretty much an asshole most of the time. =) Believe in myself though, hell yeah. My worst flaw is a pathetic lack of drive and motivation. If I could overcome that, I have no doubt that I could take over the world. >=)

16. Do transient, homeless, or starving people bother you?

Not anymore. They used to occasionally, but I generally don’t wander the streets anymore, and none of them seem to know where I live now, so these days, I don’t bother them and they don’t bother me. =P Now if only I could say the same about the Mormons…

17. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?

"Nice"?? No, I’m not "nice". I have many excellent qualities, but "nice" isn’t one of them.

18. Do you spend more time with your boyfriend or your friends?

Well, I’ve never had a boyfriend, so that makes this question a lot easier. And even if I modified the question to match my gender and sexual preference, I haven’t had a girlfriend in over three years either, so still not a hard call. Even though I only have one or two friends, whom I hardly spend any time with whatsoever, it’s still a factor greater than zero, so that one’s a no-brainer. =)

19. What’s one thing you wish you could do but can’t?

Only ONE?! Shit… okay, telekinesis. =)

20. What is your ideal marriage location?

I believe in keeping the legal/formal/paperwork side of marriage completely seperated from the actual ceremony, so for that, my ideal location is anywhere where there’s a celebrant or anybody legally authorized to officiate a legal married. For the ceremony itself, I don’t have an ideal location in mind yet, but I’m not getting married until I’m a millionaire anyhow so it will be somewhere breathtakingly spectacular.

21. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?

As Amethyst said, it’s more like what don’t I wish I could play? If I had to pick just one, then probably piano, because I can already play a little and it drives me mad sometimes to almost be able to play something but then be frustrated when I haven’t the skill to finish it. But I’ve also wanted to learn guitar/bass, and drums, and not to mention the art of creating electronic music, lyric writing, singing… agh my lack of musical talent kills me.

22. Favorite fabric?

On me, suede. On inanimate objects, like furniture and curtains, velvet. Yes, I am a straight male.

23. Something you love and hate?

Women.

24. What kind of bedding do you use?

I think question #8 more than amply described my bed in more detail that any of you probably ever cared about. Though, ironically, I’m writing this part of the survey on a totally different day to when I started this rewrite (not even the next day either, this is like a week later!), so I’ve changed my sheets again. Now I have a magenta fitted sheet, with a dark purple top sheet, two plain black pillowcases, and the other two pillowcases and duvet cover are a matching navy blue with silver moons and stars.

Yes, I am a straight male…. =P

25. Do you tell your friends about your sex life?

I don’t currently have a sex life. Or friends. But I do know a few virgins whom, with a few beers in them, occasionally beg of me to tell them one of my old stories from the good old days, and my ego can never turn them down. Even if I’ve told a story a thousand times, I’m a sucker for the "Hey can you tell us again about that time when.." or "Hey, what was that story again about how you..". What can I say, I love to be listened to. =)

That aside, I’ll answer anything straight up if asked, whether by friends, family, total strangers, whatever. I don’t generally have secrets.

26. What’s the one language you want to learn?

Just one? Shit. If I had to pick only one, and in a magical, wish it and it will be done kinda way, I’d choose Latin. After that, probably modern Italian, German, or Ancient Greek.

27. What do you order at a bar?

As a rule I’m generally a scotch man, but lately I’ve been finding myself always ordering Southern Comfort & lemonade. Lately if it isn’t sweet, I can’t drink it, and hence I’ve gone off scotch a bit recently. Dunno what’s up with that.

28. Have you ever pierced your body parts?

I had two holes in my left ear as a teenager, but I took the jewelery out in my early 20s and the holes have long since closed over.

<span style="font-weight: bold;font-style: italic;”>29. Do you have tattoos?

I have a black silhouette, side profile of a dragon in flight with wings outstretched, a little over an inch wide, on my right forearm. I’m getting another tattoo, on my upper right arm below the shoulder, the weekend after next. After that, I have at least two more planned.

30. Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery any kind if confronted?

I’ll admit to anything if confronted by anybody – unless I’m in a witness box and the person confronting me is my prosecuting attorney. =P

31. Do you drive stick?

That sounds like a vulgar sexual euphemism. But no, I don’t, currently. I will though, eventually.

32. What’s one trait you hate in a person?

AGAIN, only one?? They sure make these quizzes tough. I hate a lot of things about people, but if I can only pick one, I’m going to go with ignorance.

33. What kind of watch(es) do you wear?

I have a small rectangular gold colored analog watch which looks fairly shabby, but is actually something I inherited from my father which is worth a couple of hundred bucks, and a fairly snappy looking round silver colored analog watch which is actually just cheap department store junk. =)

34. Most frivolous purchase?

Well, I just recently spent nearly two grand upgrading my PC solely so I could play Neverwinter Nights 2 (that was literally the only reason for the upgrade, my old system met all my other needs completely)… which you could consider frivolous, considering that was a few months ago now and yet to this day I still haven’t even installed the game, let alone played it. >=P

35. Do you consider yourself materialistic?

Unquestionably. They say money can’t buy you happiness, but I say it can sure buy you a lot of things that can make you happy, which is just as good! Some days I wake up miserable and the only thing that can even remotely cheer me up is looking at all my lovely shiny expensive possessions. Besides, I’d rather be depressed in a room full of nice stuff, than depressed and living in a cardboard box.

36. What do you cook the best?

When I answered this survey the first time, my answer to this question was Golden Honey Mustard Chicken, though I cheat and use simmer sauce jars. But between losing that entry to my Firefox crash, and rewriting this part tonight, I’ve recently cooked something else that makes that other dish seem like dog food. I don’t know what I call it yet, but it consists of tender skinless chicken breasts, stuffed with garlic butter, fresh spinach, a rasher of middle bacon, and mozzarella cheese, served with pan fried potatoes, onions, water chestnuts, spinach and shallots, with cracked pepper and hollandaise sauce. Took me forever to prepare, but god damn, I almost ejaculated into my boxer shorts while eating it. It was so good.

37. Favorite writing instrument?

Logitech Cordless LX 700 Keyboard. =P

38. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?

I prefer to stand alone. =) There are sheep, then there are black sheep, and then there is the wolf on the hillside watching the flock go by… >;)

39. Do you have anything monogrammed?

Nope.

40. What kind of books do you like to read?

Fantasy fiction, of the lesser known variety – Terry Goodkind, Robin Hobb, and so on. Not the cult popular stuff, like Tolkein, Pratchett, McCaffrey, Brooks.

41. If you won the lottery, what would you do?

Well, how much are we talking here? A few bucks to a few hundred, probably nothing – pay some bills, whatever. A few thousand or tens of thousands, probably buy a motorbike and/or a decent car. Hundreds of thousands, I’d buy a house and take an international vacation. Many millions, well, I’d buy a remote island out in international waters, and on the middle of the island I’d build an immense inpenetrable fortress surrounded by enormous impregnable stone walls, surrounded by a huge, deep moat filled with all kinds of venomous and viscious sea creatures, surrounded by a fatally perilous death maze so full of traps and pointy things and devices of death that no intruder would ever even get remotely close enough to even see the moat or the walls or the fortress, let alone me. That’ll teach those damn travelling salespeople and Jehovah’s Witnesses. >=)

42. What’s one thing you’re a sore loser at?

I never, ever lose. >;)

43. If you don’t like a person, how do you show it?

Usually just cease contact altogether. I’ve reached a position of freedom in my life where I don’t have to answer to anybody, so if I don’t like somebody, I just don’t need to subject myself to their company. If I don’t like you, you’ll just never see or hear from me again, it’s that simple. Though, if you do happen to accidentally bump into me somehow, THEN you’ll have no trouble deciphering whether I like you or not, don’t you worry… 😉

44. Do you cry in front of friends?

Again, not really an issue. I only really cry once every 2-3 years or so, and it seems to always be when I’m alone, in my room, listening to music. Even then, it lasts maybe 15 minutes tops and then I’m over it. Besides my mother, there are maybe two or three people on Earth who have ever actually seen me cry, and none of them are still friends.

45. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?

That depends entirely on timing, circumstance, and my mood, but it will always be one of two things:- obnoxious, loud-mouthed, annoying jerk guy who talks too much, or weird, shy, creepy quiet guy who doesn’t seem to talk toanybody and just sits there hiding behind his sunglasses. Seriously, if you ask anybody who’s ever met me, I bet they’ll tell you that one of those two things was their first impression of me.

46. What’s one thing you like to do alone?

Live. And no, I don’t mean that in a "spend my life completely devoid of human company surrounded by a hundred cats and a cactus that I talk to" kind of way, I just mean literally, in a domestic, residential sense. I fucking despise share accomodation. I really do quite desperately wish I lived alone.

47. Are you a giver or a taker?

Both, and I like to believe, fairly evenly. I’m most certainly a taker, and won’t hesitate to better myself with the assistance or resources of another, but I’m also a generous guy and will always give of myself when I have something I can provide that somebody else needs. It may not always be one for one, but I think I’m pretty karmically balanced most of the time…

48. When’s the last time you cried?

Honestly, no clue, but as per my predictable system, I can guarantee it was sometime within the past three years tops, and undoubtedly I was alone, in my room, listening to music. Again, as per question #1, this is not including random momentary chokeups due to movies or television, I’m talking about real crying here.

49. Favorite communication method?

Touch. =)

50. How many drinks before you’re tipsy?

Not applicable. I’d been a fairly heavy spirits drinker most of my life, until about 2004 when I found I couldn’t even get tipsy, let alone drunk, without feeling nauseous and just generally disgusting. I stopped drinking almost entirely for about a year, and now I just drink socially, but I never even get slightly tipsy, because I stop before the nausea sets in.

Even when I was a drinker though, as I said, I was a heavy hard liquor drinker, so it took a decent number of drinks for me to get a buzz. The number wouldn’t be a small one.

51. Favorite kind of porn?

Softcore, amateur, voyeuristic, preferably homemade webcam or spycam stuff, featuring young solo female, no older than about 21 tops, petite, masturbating to intense orgasm. Uhh, not that I’ve really given it any thought, or anything. {coughs}

52. Do you ever have to beg?

No, I can usually find it in my existing collection, or if I get desperate, download it from one of the P2P filesharing networks at a pinch. Also, my buddies and I trade porn once in a while since we have similar tastes, so no, I hardly ever have to beg for it. >=P

53. How often do you have sex?

On average? About never per week. =P I’ve been single and celibate for over three years now. I seem to go through these phases in my life – I’ll have a year or two where I get laid a lot, often with several different attractive, talented girls, with or without a disastrous attempt at a monogamous relationship thrown in there somewhere… and then I’ll go 2-3 years without so much as a sympathy handjob. =P But if there’s a pattern to it all, I’m around about due for my next round of action any month now, so keep your fingers crossed for lonely old me. =P

54. Have you ever done any illegal drugs?

I used to be a social marijuana smoker in my teens and early 20s, but had to stop around the same time I stopped being a heavy drinker and for much the same reasons. I’ve taken ecstasy twice, and I couldn’t swear that I wouldn’t try it again if the right situation came up. Oh, and I smoked cigarettes for ten years too, which is practically illegal these days and I’m certain will literally be so soon enough anyway, so I think that’s worth a mention.

55. Do you think you’re cute?

Certainly not. I’m about as "cute" as I am "nice".

56. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?

Not really a relevant issue, see aforementioned lack of friends. The couple of friends I do have see in my boxer shorts all the time since that’s all I usually wear around my own house if I’m just slacking around. I don’t expose my genitals to anybody I’m not having sex with, though.

57. What’s the most painful experience you’ve ever had?

Around November 2005, I started to notice an uncomfortable ache on the right side of my torso. At the time, I thought it was just a bruise or a tender muscle. It gradually got worse and worse, to the point where if I was sleeping and I unconciously rolled over onto my right side in my sleep, I’d wake up screaming. In March 2006 I finally went and got my chest x-rayed, and discovered I’d been living with a broken 8th right rib for four months. Because I didn’t know and hadn’t been taking any special care of it, plus as a result of other medical conditions I have, it hadn’t healed yet. Even after I realized and started having physiotherapy and taping it up, it never healed properly, and formed a callous twice the normal size which ended up messing up a bunch of other stuff in there. To this day (literally, right now), it still gives me pain, and probably always will.

Although, that’s more of a moderate pain over a long time. The most utterly painful single experience I can recall was a leg cramp I got randomly once while playing Diablo II, for no apparent reason. Somehow I just twisted strangely and my vision literally went white with the pain. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, cursing, smashing anything within reach with one hand and just gripping my leg for dear life with the other. If I’d had a knife handy, I probably would have tried to cut my own leg off. To this day, I have no idea why or how a simple stupid leg cramp could hurt so much, but I obviously really damaged something because I couldn’t walk properly on that leg for several weeks afterwards… weird, huh?

At this point in the entry, I was still quite enthusiastically in a survey writing mood, so I hunted through Amethyst’s journal and found another one, which I then proceeded to complete. I wrote a brief interlude in the middle here, like this one, but I’ll be damned if I remember what I said, considering it’s been nearly two weeks since I wrote the original of this entry, and only three days less since I started this rewrite that I’ve been gradually working on ever since… =)

Anyway, on with the show…

Continued next entry… >>