Lung Butter.

I don’t have a quote to head this one off. All that I have right now is the persistent fear that this might be serious, and the knowledge that I should have kicked my cigarette habit two years ago when I tried to quit, when I was 17 and I tried to quit, last summer when I tried to quit… Well, you seem to have the idea. My airways are constricting badly, and I’m coughing up a lot of lung butter, as I like to lovingly call it. So maybe it’s time to stop worrying about maybe gaining a few more pounds or gnawing my lips off in an attempt to sate the oral fixation. Who am I kidding, there’s no maybe about it.

I’ve been smoking for half of my life now, and I’m honestly overwhelmed by the prospect of quitting, confounded by the notion of myself being a non-smoker.

But I only have so much left on my inhaler, and then I’m going to have to seek medical attention because the not being able to breathe is actually a daily occurrence this past week. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m praying for bronchitis.

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April 12, 2011

I randomed here – I was older than you when I quit, and also started early (I was 12). I survived quitting, and so did my body, and everything is ok. It wasn’t easy, but it was *possible* and for all the cravings and BS and madness, the results were worth all of the aggravation. I never would’ve imagined myself a person that doesn’t smoke, but I no longer do. You can do it. It does one’s head in,but you can do it.