leave a message at the beep

in the haste that replaces my real world with one such as this, i have clung to the idea that to be judged fairly and justly that a little privacy is a necessity…from past experience i have learned that some skeletons are indeed best left to gather dust in the closet, and too that it’s not best to share reality until one has come to grips with it.

it was a place much like this that i poured my very existence into believing that one day it would mean something great on the scale of normal not grand. i am in no way a grand person, i have done things that i should not have done, i make mistakes, i get angry, sometimes i even try to get even; but in the end, it simply boils down to the fact that the only person who really knows me and could even possibly understand me is myself. luke once said if there was any one thing in the entire world what would you be. he said understood and i said i don’t know. but perhaps i would rather remain the mystery that holds no true prize or fame if discovered. and in the fact that words are only letters with misconstrued meanings means nothing but absence of knowledge where knowledge cannot be painted nicely with colors unlike those of the likes of grey. to those few and deserving i have learned who i am and who i might possibly be and without those i almost certainly believe that i could not be the me i am now. and the underlying meaning might say something to the matter of being a some small way proud of the person i have “tried” and created with my own thoughts and opinions.

i cannot say that i know for sure i am always right, nor that on some level do i even dare begin to think i know alot, only that i perceive things in a way that i know only as my way of thinking and in that we all have our own ways of thinking but to the other side of the spectrum we are often consumed by the flow of things and are assimilated into the everyday pitter patter of hellos and byes and fuck offs. i am infact a creature of habit and in my nature i am secluded within boundaries that i have somehow placed around my being

chaos is nature’s most simplistic way….

people will be people, chaos will consume, and the calm will slowly fall around the thoughts which breed chaotic nature. for it is human nature to conquer and destroy and humans as a group are lost to habits….

blah blah blah lost the thought can’t form any rational meanings with these words so it’s off to find inspiration