My Series of Unfortunate Events….
I went out with Kyle again and of course it was a wonderful night dinner and then Lemmony Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events. Im starting to figure him out and the more I know about him, the more I like him. He explained to me that regardless of his interest in me, he wants to behave himself for at least the time being doesnt want to ruin a good thing by jumping into bed too quickly.
Ok, I respect that, especially in the situation I am in going between him and the boyfriend. Its just unusual and I am so used to men having ulterior motives that its a bit hard to believe.
Dont get me wrong I am loving all my time with Kyle, but as it gets more and more serious I am starting to get nervous about what this means for the boyfriend and I. (If you havent noticed I dont really tend to mention his name. Kyle just refers to the boyfriend as him) He has always been there for me in the past and he did move after college to be with me. He has no friends in the city and if we were to break up Im afraid he would have no one.
My relationship with him is just ho-hum. I feel like we are married. He does all sorts of rude things around me now that he never used to do. He doesnt go out of his way to do things for me anymore. He doesnt even try to seduce me anymore, so, needless to say, our sex life is almost nonexistent. Its really one of two extremes.
1. He kisses me on the cheek when we crawl into bed and then immediately starts snoring.
2. He grabs my ass or my crotch and basically just says, Lets go
now (no foreplay
no sweetness
just lets go
)
I feel like we are an old married couple. Please tell me marriage isnt like this! His family is treating us like we are married and so are mine. Christmas gifts from his grandparents joint gifts for the two of us. Thats just weird. I just got invited to his familys golf outing at a resort. I dont play golf and they know that, but I would go along to spend time with his mother and his sister-in-law.
See! Im just like a wife! I dont want to be married, Im only 22!
This is really starting to freak me out and maybe that is why I am leaning towards Kyle more and more. Maybe that makes my situation with the boyfriend less serious in some sick way. Grrrrrrrrr! I just get more and more confused by the second because I dont want to ruin something safe that I have for something I dont know that much about yet. I wish there was some kind of diagnostic test I could take comparing the two men that would tell me which was the correct choice given all the factors. Would someone invent that please?!?
And as always, for now I will continue doing what I have been doing this past month hitting the town with Kyle and then making it home to be domestic and curl up in bed with my boyfriend. Wow I dont know if my conscience just awoke from a deep sleep or something but I suddenly feel like a selfish bad person.
[Random] I’m not exactly in your position but I do occasionally feel the way you do w/the “marriage thing” although we ARE getting married. If you feel the way that you explained, I think that the best thing for you to do for yourself is to get out of the relationship and be with Kyle. You have to make YOURSELF happy, that is what relationships are about. Happiness and love. Find it. 🙂
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gads woman!!! your only 22, get out while you can! lol, seriously. never settle for safe, who knows what you could be missing out on? and its nice that your taking his feeling into consideration, but you have to put yourself first in these situations. seriously, think about what you could be missing out on if you dont take the opportunity w/ kyle. u owe it to yourself! good luck *HUG* 🙂
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Wow. How in the world does your boyfriend not miss you when your with Kyle? I hope your not that invisible to him. Where does he think you are? And no,not all marriages are like that. Yes you both find yourself doing things you wouldnt of the first week you met and some times the sex is quick, but I still find myself coming up with new & romantic ways to steal her breath away and light up her eyes
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Well, one thing is for sure…you can’t base your decisions on other people’s feelings, only your own. If you’re not feeling anything with the boyfriend, it’s time to move on. It’s not far to either of you to just stay in the relationship because it’s “safe”. On the other hand, if you feel like maybe there really is something there worth saving, why not talk to him about all of the problems you’re
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having? A lot of times, guys don’t even know something is wrong unless you tell them! It sounds like her really cares for you (even moving to be with you…) I’m sure he’d want to fix it if he knew how unhappy he was making you. 🙂
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You have your entire life to get married – don’t settle down right away. And, just so you know, marriage isn’t always like that. I mean I wouldn’t know, except I’m friends with a girl who has been dating her bf for 7 years, and they still treat eachother like gold. You just have to find the right guy to be with! Maybe it’s Kyle!! 🙂
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It sounds to me like you care about both of these men, yet one is the safest choice. I think thatit is “his” fault you are not feeling as comfortable with your live in relationship because he has stopped treating you like you deserve to be treated. But that’s probably because he feels he can now be himself with you.If who he is is not who you want him to be, you should get out of that.although…
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…Your guy on the side is most likely still hiding some of his inner tendancies too. You don’t know if he is just like or worse than the guy you are with right now. You need to weigh all the pro’s and cons for each guy and utlimatley choose the one who makes you feel happier and more comfortable.It’s all about you being happy. “his” feelings, although important,shouldn’t smother yours. _DaNieLLe
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