A funeral of blind faith.

There’s something I’ve needed to get off of my chest for quite some time. I have not had the words to articulate it, but I am going to try writing it down. Please, don’t take any offense to anything I say. For all I know, I can be competely full of shit. But I don’t care, I’m writing it down regardles.
I’ve had a large falling out with God some years ago. .

I don’t really know where to go from there… I have run into the same problem I did each time I had the prelude to this conversation with any of my friends. Where do I go from a statement such as "I had a large falling out with God"?
So I’ll scratch my head and light a cigarette. Mainly because I don’t know what else to do.
A simple question that follows: "Why? What happened?"
Nothing. Nothing happened to prompt this. Something just made me stop believing… I stopped having faith that God existed, lost hope in the church I once belonged, and …
wow… this really sucks talking about. I hope you don’t mind that it’s in dialogue form… It’s hard talking about this…
Much harder than I expected…
Maybe that’s why I never talked about it before. I just say "I had a large falling out with God some years ago" and they go "Oh… yeah…."
And that’s it. Without that endgame, where do I go..
I, in short, don’t know what I believe in anymore. In each religion I’ve talked about and heard of, I like something and pull something away from it. I’m Agnostic. I believe in something… I just don’t know what yet.
I like it that way. It still leaves me… I don’t know… wanting….
So where do I go from here. It’s not as if I’m believing in nothing.
I just don’t like having blind faith anymore, which is what so many religions are based off of. Having faith that something happened. If you have that much faith, you’re easily controlled. I don’t like doing something intentionally to have myself controlled. If I want to be Christian, fine, but don’t tell me I’m fucking goint to hell for being gay. Jesus talked about love. Never once in any of his teachings, the things you’re supposed to be following, did he mention gay people and how you should convert them. The bible is not a weapon. Stop trying to use it as one.
I heard that one of the founding fathers took the new testiment and took out all of the miracles, just had Jesus’s parables and things like that. He made it his own book and called it "The philosophy of Jesus from Judea" or however you spell it.
Religion doesn’t move me anymore.
I am into the philosophy of music. The way it can change, strengthen, or kill a mood. Just music. Just words. Just a drum, just a guitar.
Yet there’s something in songs that we can relate to. Music is everwhere. There will be a song that will move you, chill you, make you do something you normally wouldn’t.
Make you say, Okay, I’ll do that. No, I can’t stay with you. Yes, I’ll marry you. Maybe I’ll be there.
Something will move you to tears.
Something will make you smile.
Something will change your life. And it’s just a song. Just some music.
And it’s more fulfulling that God is in my life right now.

I don’t believe in God either. In late 2004 I lost someone very close to me and just, stopped believing. I love that line. “The bible is not a weapon, stop using it as one” and I absolutely LOVE music. *hugs* Take care. BYless.

I agree with you. I had a “falling out” a while back. Religion is a beautiful thing, but, like you said, it can be used as a weapon. Most religions share a common core belief system. I take pieces from each and form it into something that fits my personal beliefs. It doesn’t make us bad people. Just more well-rounded. Music is an amazing and powerful thing. :O) Take care, man. – Jacob

.summer

January 4, 2006

I like this entry. *hugs*

If you were to take a large group of random people, put them in a room…and ask them what they believe in—you’d most def get a bunch of different answers. same thing if you were to ask these same people if they have ever had a falling out with God. Mostly everyone has, at one point or another–I on the other had am just “mad” and Him. *shrug*

I agree with the fact that people need to stop using the bible as a weapon and I dont think its wrong for someone to be gay,I mean people who like the same sex didn’t just wake up one morning and say hey I think I’ll be gay or lesbian today. Everyone is the way they are for a reason,It’s life and people just need to be more accepting. Thank you for the note you left,It really meant alot to me.

Hobbletta

February 27, 2006

“Where do I go from a statement such as “I had a large falling out with God?”” As if from my own mouth… I was always big into church and I’d even considered going to Seminary. One day, I turned away from it all. Noww, I feel like a child wandering through a jungle with no solid path of truth. Ironic.

eep, now*