Haven’t got time for the pain…

First, I’d like to thank all those that actually have read my BS and have taken the time to post.  I’ll figure out how to respond sooner or later… hopefully.

Secondly, I need to write  more often… it does help, and I just need to do it.

Finally… I’m in pain.  I hurt.  I feel I’m stuck in a moment "that I just can’t get out of it."  I’m in a new country where I’m the odd one out, no one seems to understand me or my sense of humor (what little is left), I’m in a job I suck at; I’m tired;  I have no hobbies or outlets; I struggle for time of my own; I’m sad; and I FUCKIN HATE THE ROADS HERE!  Sorry… spent and hour and a half lost today… not a happy camper.

Not a happy camper at all.  I feel I’m trying to do the best for everyone, my family and me… but again me is last.  I’m on edge and need to fix all of this.  I don’t want to go back to psycho Andy… he’s  not fun and costs alot in hospital bills.

Always making everyone happy but myself.

Been this way for years… is there no way to fix it?