Friggin Angry…
And here we go again with the angry entries…
I am so friggin pissed off it’s amazing.
Lets just say it’s about trust. Trust… somewhat of a basic entitiy between two or more people. Trust really comes into play with your wife or husband, wouldn’t you think? I’m a FIRM believer that trust is one of, if not THE, most important part of a realtionship. I think I’m a pretty trustful guy. Maybe I’m naive and think the world is too nice and perfect. Maybe that makes me vulnerable or something. Maybe it’s my own fault. Who knows. All I know is that I trust people for the most part, and those that are close, I trust them without even thinking about it. I would think they would feel and act the same towards me.
But apparently not. Apparently I’m a fool for trusting people, especially the one who is supposed to be my soul mate, my best friend, my wife.
Apparently friggin not!!! I feel that I have been betrayed in one of the most sneekiest and untrustworthy ways. We all have our personal feelings. Sometimes we share them, sometimes we don’t. We’re all trying to make sense of this crazy world in our own way. Sometimes we seek the help of others… Their view, their input. Sometimes we need to keep things to ourselves… work them out on our own. That’s what I’m trying to do… trying to have a place of my own and work things out so I can attempt to get through this crazy thing called life. So I have a private side… A side for myself that I’ll show when I want and when I’m ready.
But that’s not good enough for some. OH no… They have to be sneaky… They don’t trust me. They want to know what I’m up to all the time. They don’t FUCKING TRUST ME! So a certain someone decided to break into my e-mail and read about a personal topic I was trying to work out with a true friend. I wasn’t cheating, I wasn’t planning death and destruction, I wasn’t making a date, I wasn’t looking at porn, I wasn’t hitting on women or men… I was having a conversation. Getting a friends advice about events that have happened in the past. Events I was trying to make right that I had made wrong many years ago.
Does that make me untrustworthy???? Does that make me a bad person??? I don’t think so.
It does make someone look bad… Someone who doesn’t trust me and should. Nope they’re acting like a 15 year old with no confidence who thinks the world is out to get them and everyone treats them SO bad and really I have such a tough life BULL SHIT!
WHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So threaten divorce, say "Obviously I know where I stand in this realtionship." And carry on like a child.
I honestly don’t care this time. I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m tired of being the one who tries to improve myself and improve us. I know I’m far from perfect, but I do my best to change. Wait a minute… I was trying to change myself in that e-mail wasn’t I? Oh I guess we missed that… Too busy acting like a child.