recovery

 How could I possibly understand who you are?

How could I ever make sense of the horrid that lies inside you?

How can anyone pick up the pieces you shattered when you left?

I could never explain the depths of your malicious being.

But here, I try.

 

A delicate child, I was.

Graceful and innocent.

Hair brown as earth soil,

Developing into a loving soul. 

 

But you- selfish, 

controlling,

cold and heartless.

The beginning to a habit you’ll always live with. 

 

Unmentionable things you did to me.

By a man ten times my age.

By a man who’s supposed to be family. 

 

I remember.

Everything. 

Did you not see, the fear in my eyes?

Did you not notice my shaking?

Do you take pride, in what you did?

 

I was too young.You were so mean. 

 But, I’ve found the courage to tell.

After all these years, I kept it in.

I thought I was protecting myself.

Now, I see I was only protecting you.

 

I’ve seen what I’ve become because of you.

Boy and after boy.It was not a phase. But something I carry from you.

 

I kept all your secrets.

As your personal servant.

The slave, you created.

With your sick, bag of lies.

 

Bleeding,  

Broken hearts,

Pain,

&suffering. 

 

You took everything from me.

I’m slowing getting it back.

I’ve come to peace with myself.

Now realizing, I’m not a victim.

But rather, a survivor.

 

With time, 

I will heal.

You’re gone for good.

I couldn’t be more relieved. 

 

You’re no longer a part of me.

 Just a piece of my past.

You were never family.

 

&Now,

You’re nothing to me.

Merely, the dirt beneath myfeet.

But I’m staying strong,

Just to see you pay.