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Why is it always like this? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I seem to escape this god damned world?
So much of the time it seems that there is no point to this life, this endless drudgery of awakening, going through the motions of the morning, getting ready, eating, going to work…being at work. Getting off work, going home and filling up your time with whatever you can until you can go to bed again. Never stop, not for a moment, because if you stop, you’ll start to think, and if you start to think, you just might see how fucking miserable, cruel and heartless this world of ours really is…or at least the species.
And so we keep ourselves endlessly distracted, an ongoing supply of anti-thought material, TV, magazines, books, movies, music, the internet. All of these things have their rightful place in our culture and technology, and all of them have made major impacts on society in their own ways, but the average American citizen these days uses these things for filler. They fill in the time between appointments, between sleep, between work, between driving. We never allow ourselves to stop for even just one moment and enjoy the beauty of that tree over there. That cloud in the sky. That butterfly that just fluttered by.
It’s always go, go, go…more, more, more, quicker, quicker quicker. Until we’re all rushing, speeding, careening wildly down the information superhighway. But where are we going? Do we have an answer? What is the final destination of this idiotic march?
Could it be death? Is it so simple as that? Are we all in a lifelong race to the grave? What the fuck is the point of that…
Everyday I wake up and it’s a little more hopeless. I’m one day older, I’m one day closer to the end, I’m that much closer to my death…and I long for it with all my heart, my soul, my being. That dark oblivion of nothingness, stillness, peace and emptiness. It sits there waiting for me to find it, waiting for the day when I’ll finally close my eyes and never reopen them. I just hope that day comes soon…I can’t stand any of this much longer…
I used to think like that. Feeling like there was no point we were all just going through the motions of life with no real purpose. But maybe that’s just it. The purpose of life is to live and feel. Books and tv and all the other things you listed can actually be very thought provoking.
Warning Comment
Carpe Diem, Memento Mori -It is my code, i try to live my life by it. Your questions are good tho there is no answer i can offer you… as it varies by person. Tho on a certain degree could say time is always there to signify us of our mortality- ..and i assume that is one of the reasons why humans rush. We want to achieve our dreams, we want to continue our bloodline,
Warning Comment
we want to have a legacy.. So that we are remembered by someone… Tho not all of humans are like that, there are those of us who do enjoy the moment- Those who admire the beauty of a flower waving gently in the wind- Those who admire the starry sky at night- SoÂ… realise your mortality, enjoy the small moments of life while you chase for your dreams for your legacyÂ…
Warning Comment
Not your time to go. I’ve learned this the hard way, of attempts myself… many over the years… and seeing my sister attempt 7 times this last year… all the attempts aren’t worth it. Live life… find something you enjoy in life, anything, doesn’t matter what it is.
Warning Comment
Hello. You know what? The best way to prepare for death is yet to be discovered. On good days, I feel that if I have good days, at least I’ll have some form of happiness before I die. On bad days, I only want to usher it sooner. You made me smile. Welcome to OD.
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