Christmas Canon

The air outside is cold and rainy, and smells of the snow just north of here. Christmas has come, has filled our house once again with the sounds of laughter and love, and is now tiptoeing away on soft little feet. Each year, I want to hold it in my hand, this magic that is Christmas. Each year we create new traditions, embrace new celebrations and gradually turn loose of some that have passed, not out of desire to do so but out of sheer necessity. Time passes, people come and go, circumstances change, but always we celebrate the love and bond between us; we celebrate the season and the reason for Christmas.

I have missed being here on this site, and even now feel clumsy and awkward here. My life has gone in such a different direction these past few years, leaving very little time for outlets such as writing and expression.  I know that my life is out of balance at the moment; I know that work occupies too large a space in my time and extracts too big a toll. But just as surely as I know this, I also know that my heavenly Father has placed me where I am. I feel His strong arm around my shoulders and I feel His warm breath as He whispers encouragement into my ear.  He will keep me and preserve me, until such a time as He moves me again, or takes me home.

I have asked Him many times to move me somewhere else; I have wept at His feet and told Him I couldn’t do this anymore. His answer to my prayers has always been the same: "Not yet. I have work for you to do." And so I continue to get up every morning, and I continue to do what He has called me to do, in the place where He has led me. In the dark of the early morning, my own words come back to me out of nowhere, echoes of what I have told my own precious  daughter in times past: you can’t quit something just because it gets hard.

I have met some incredible people there, and I have been witness to some incredible stories and circumstances. I know He has not placed me there by accident, and I know that I am only a cog in a wheel that turns by His hand; He has neither forgotten me nor forsaken me, but only asked me to do something incredibly hard. And because I love Him more than I love my own life, I remain there for now.

I remember hearing someone say that when we pray and ask God for something, He can only answer in one of 3 ways: 1) Yes     2) Not yet     3) I have something so much better in mind.   So I am content in the knowledge that He hears my prayers, He knows how hard this work is, and He is not turning a deaf ear to my cries. He is only telling me "not yet." He has something so much better in mind for me.

And so, dear friends, on this Christmas night I just stopped by to encourage you.  I just stopped by here briefly to tell you that your heavenly Father hears the cries of your heart; He knows how hard life can be.  His strong arm is around your shoulder and His warm breath is in your ear reminding you that He is El Shaddai, the God Who is More Than Enough.

 Me, with one of my amazing patients.