New Day

Alright so, after my whole shitty mood last night, I’m feeling more ambitious.  After my 10am class I’m going to buy a scale and diuretics.  Once I get my refund I’ll be able to buy some diet pills.  For now, the scale and diuretics should be persuasion enough.

So, as I was showering I was trying to set a calorie level for myself.  I know that when I was in high school, I started higher and had to work myself down to 300 calories a day.  So I’m thinking I may start at like 1,000.  As I type that it seems outrageously high.  Only a fat girl would need to start that high.  I guess I’ll eat as little as possible today and see how many calories that adds up to, and that’ll be my new limit.

I feel too old to be starting all over.  I’m not 13 anymore.  I thought I had finally gotten to a place where I was happy with myself.

I guess I was wrong.